The Blue Rhino

Im Getting Closer To Joining The Man Of The Land...

2005-11-08T17:22:00.000-08:00

Fans of Hunter S. Thompson will get an inside view of his elaborate memorial service in a film directed by Wayne Ewing.

"When I Die" will be shown Saturday at the Starz Denver International Film Festival. The hour-long movie depicts the creation of the 15-story tower that was used to blast Thompson's ashes into the sky at a closed memorial service on his Woody Creek property in August.
Thompson shot himself in his kitchen on Feb. 20, apparently despondent over health problems. He was 67.

National and most local media were barred from the tribute to Thompson, who is credited, along with Tom Wolfe and Gay Talese, with helping pioneer New Journalism — he dubbed his version "gonzo journalism" — in which the writer was an essential component of the story.

Ewing, who directed 2003's "Breakfast With Hunter," also shows the planning and governmental approvals that organizers needed in order to honor Thompson's wishes for his send-off.

Johnny Depp, who played Thompson in 1998's "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," paid the $2.6 million cost of the memorial.

The Blue Rhino would also like to sincerely apologize to all his fans for all the broken promises of new material and doing horse shit news bulletins for things that he likes. He aplogogizes and when interviewed briefly last night during a drunken stupor, as if he was doing anything else, wanted to give this out...

'My fans, I miss them, I get emails all the time telling me what a fucking wash up I am and the myspace is a cunt thats bleeding me dry. I want to let them all know, that Im sorry for any discomfort Ive caused them, but theyve given me the biggest discomfort of all... Fame. Im thankful for all, ALL, all of my fans, Im just not thankful anymore for myself.'.

Get Ready To See You On The Otherside!!!...

2005-10-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

Over On Blabbermouth, I found some of the best news this site has ever reported, besides the Primus reunion getogether... thebluerhino.blogspot.com can exclusively reveal the final tracklisting for KORN's new album, "See You on the Other Side".

It is as follows:
01. Twisted Transistor
02. Politics
03. Hypocrites
04. Souvenir
05. 2-Way
06. Throw Me Away
07. Love Song
08. Open Up
09. Coming Undone
10. Getting Off
11. Liar
12. For No One
13. Seen It All
14. Saturated Loneliness (Tearjerker)

KORN's new effort was produced by Matrix (AVRIL LAVIGNE, THE MOONEY SUZUKI) and Atticus Ross (BAD RELIGION, NINE INCH NAILS, PINK).
Vocalist Jonathan Davis credits these co-producers with helping him free even more of his inner demons in his lyrics...

"I've written seven albums worth of shit, and I have my style, but I wanted something different, not the typical lyrics that I always write," Davis said in a press statement. "I want to come out and say things in a different way, so getting those different people around me, with their different perspectives and different talents, really helped a lot. I've always had a problem getting across what I'm trying to say, because I'm always limited to what I can do within the phrasing and melody of the lyric, but they helped me a lot with that, without losing our vibe. We knew we wanted to experiment and see what would happen, but we had no clue it would end up like this," laughed Davis...

"It really worked out — we might have lost a member, but we gained another two with Atticus and Matrix."

The cover artwork for "See You on the Other Side", has been posted online somewhere in the Net universe... The art was designed by David Stoupakis, who was also responsible for the cover of KORN's "Twisted Transistor" single.

"See You on the Other Side" is scheduled for release on December 6, DECEMBER 6!!, through a global partnership with EMI/Virgin Records. This innovative multiple rights joint venture deal is among the first of its kind in the music industry. In addition to their record deal, KORN and EMI Music have established a joint venture company in which EMI and Virgin Records will partner with KORN on the band's non-recording activities such as the band's DVD sales, music publishing, touring, merchandise, sponsorship and any other band activities such as film, TV, book or video game projects. The deal which offers KORN unprecedented artistic freedom, enables the group to be more innovative in the multi-platform release of music.

KORN have been leaders in this arena, beginning with the KORN TV online campaign in 1998 to more recently when they were the first band to simulcast a live concert in 2002 into movie theaters across the U.S. KORN are one of the most popular hard rock acts in the world today with a dedicated fan base and widely acclaimed live performances.

They have sold a total of 25 million albums worldwide to date, 14 million of which were in the U.S. Their last four albums debuted in the top three of the Billboard Top 200, with two of them having entered the chart at No. 1.

CoInS?...

2005-10-05T07:03:00.000-07:00

Get a load of this recent comment sent to The Blue Rhino...

Anonymous said...
Hi there,You got a nice blog here.If you like coins there is a lot of information about coins in my blogCoind Directory

What in the fuck? Does this look like a place where someone would like coins?! What the fuck? Are you outta yr fucking mind? Honestly, come the fuck on, does this look like a place where the key man would care about pieces of fucking metal. No, CDs are pieces of fucking plastic. Coins? What the fuck, how many times can I ask that question, what kind of fucker do you think I am?! Coins?
Anyhoo, thanks for the flattering remark. This is a perrrtty nice blog I got here. Its not as powerful as it could be, too many goofy broken promises sent untp my fans, but thats ok, they expect it these days. Im reaping my rewards of being the artist, the man, the myth and the legend, so Im entitled to have a lil fun. Besides, they also know that when they get something, its worth the wait.
Ha!

Page And Cathedrals...

2005-10-05T05:19:00.000-07:00

IrishExaminer.com is reporting that former LED ZEPPELIN guitarist Jimmy Page has confirmed that that he will be in Cork, Ireland to launch a celebration of the work of the architect who designed the city’s landmark St Fin Barre's Cathedral.

Page, who is said to be a huge fan of English architect William Burges (the Cathedral is regarded as Burges's first masterpiece), will open the exhibition, entitled Conserving the Dream, in Cork's public museum on Thursday, October 6.

Dean of St Fin Barre's, Rev Michael Burrows, said it would be the Cathedral's most significant contribution to the city's year as European Capital of Culture.Examples of recently restored documents, stained glass window cartoons and plaster working models from the Cathedral will be on view.

"These documents and models are examples of the remarkable archival richness of the treasures of St Fin Barre's," Burrows said, "It is thanks to the generosity of a benefactor it has been possible to restore these examples for exhibition and also a foretaste of what could be put on view if further restoration were to be done."

Burges was appointed architect to build a new Cathedral in 1862 after a competition.

Read more at IrishExaminer.com.

Sooooo, What Do You Do At Wal Mart?...

2005-09-28T04:15:00.000-07:00

15 Things to do at Wal-Mart when your going to be in there for a long time:

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone??!!'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" usingdifferent size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and,then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

If you can do any of these with a straight face, then, ha! More power to you!

Ha!

Caio,
The Blue Rhino

A Message From The Art Desk...

2005-08-30T03:30:00.000-07:00

To: Sharon Osbourne and all those involved in managing and organizing Black Sabbath and Ozzfest

In the past few years Ozzy Osbourne has shown a record of consistently missing tour dates. It is extremely disappointing to look forward to a show for days, weeks and even months, only to get to the venue and realize the band you want to see will not be playing. This hurts. This hurts bad. And this, maybe is nothing to you folks, but its everything to us. Everything.

Ozzy’s fans have been let down time after time.

When there is a cancellation there is never an attempt to bring Ozzy back to do a makeup show of any kind. Scheduling a make-up show for cancelled or “Ozzy-less” gigs would be the right thing to do by the fans. Give the fans the option to see the show they paid for, even if it is on another date. Remember, if it were not for us, the fans, there would be no Ozzfest, let alone, an Ozzy Osbourne.

The Undersigned and Camp Blue Rhino believe that Ozzy should come back to play make-up shows for dates where he did not perform. Be a man, a true man, and right the wrongs.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned and The Blue Rhino

TO SIGN THE PETITION GO TO THIS ADDRESS:

http://www.petitiononline.com/ozmakeup/petition.html

Thank you.

And, Why The Hell Not?...

2005-08-28T10:00:00.000-07:00

This morning as I tackle the backyard between my wonderful offline job that I do next to being Mr Professional Artist, I came back to the mansion and found a thrilling suprise... The Great Senor Kinky 'BD' Friedman is running for the governorship if Texas.
Yessir, I said that correct...
Senor Friedman has a good thing going. The working man's Hunter Thompson if you will. Why the hell not is his slogan for the campaign and I agree and I say well, why the hell not. I would love to see some celeb of his heights come over and run the oh so wonderful state of sunshine.
Might be better than the one we got now, eh?
Anyway, as I was saying, Senor Friedman, for Camp Blue Rhino I wish you the best of luck, my man. Itd be a gig to remember!

So I tell you, are you ready to see New Orleans get wiped off the face of the country by Senorita Katrina? Man, thats gotta be Ivan's lil sister. Predictions from the house, since the exiting interstate outta NO is gridlocked, those people are going to receive what they deserve. Gridlocked, geeeeez. whoda thunk it. Ha.
175 mph winds, very sexy. You know you gotta like that. Thats simply sexy.

Bowling is over rated.

So yeah, there.

Fast Driving Under The Big Yellow Moon...

2005-08-18T22:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I have to tell you, its been a hell of an evening in the great shitty of Crestview. The long drive in the country side was inevitable. Its been too long since Ive reported the damned here at the Casa De Sin Blue Rhino style, but the urge has become me to wreak havoc once again here on blogger. Gee thanks myspace, but yr not the man anymore. What? What the fuck am I talking about? Im talking about...

So anyway, here at the Casa De Sin under the yelow moon in this night of August 18th. Fuckin shit, its the 18 already? Well, I guess Im so much of a celebrity that I only post once in a blue moon. Fuckin A yes, I guess im more of the monster and its a terrible sin, because ive made the money, Ive made the fame, Im the porofessional artist I set out to be oh so long ago. No apologies here, you folks needed a rest. Now yr rest is over, and so is mine. You know, fuck all these people that think they can build a space ship in their back yard. You people have no idea what yr doing, and Star Trek is not a sweet way to get you weirdos laid. Neither is being a pro artist. Shit, did I say that out loud. Im kidding, Im kidding.

Holt is the place to be if you know where to find the Americant Dream. I found it years ago, and little did I know, I didnt. I found it so long ago way back down the South Side. Down the orange road down the path that leads in to darkness, take a turn for the left and WHAM!!!! There you go. Keepin in alive, to thrive, at the oo5. Thats right. Ooooooh yes... You folks know what it is.

My attorney advised me not to use the word 'fuckers' when Im refering to my fans. Even when I mean it as a hard, hard core lable. He said, naw, just dont do it Blue. So, therefore, Im going to edit myself, for, who else, you, my fans, with the word, folks. Unless you want it back to the old days. I will. But, you folks know what you want.

Of course this evening the Blue Bus rode fast to Holt! Why wouldnt it. Its where it belongs. I consider orange clay streaked and smeared on the sides of the Blue Bus to be, well, as Players And Pimps and whatnot would have on the sides of the wagons, flames. Orange flames. Damn right. My vehicles much uglier than yrs. Oh, say what, say what. Hahahahahaha! Damn, still got it.

Bowmans doesnt have half the shit it used to have. Geeeeeeez, how the mighty have fallen, so low. I mean, what happened to all the stuff most people would want to load up in their pock... bags and have a good night with. Bowmans has fallen. Long live the...

Glendawg and his boys where rockin it out at the Jam Room this evening. Man oh man, those folks really rocked it out. For once they recorded some things, for him to record is like to me actually meet and greet a deadline, but hey, would that be our style, fuck no. Not now, not ever. Ha! So, it was rockin out like you wouldnt belive. The holy plot shuddered with glee. Thats right! It sure as fuck did. Of course, more on this later.

See you tomorrow folks...

So A Bear Walks In To A Motel Room, No, Seriously...

2005-07-21T23:30:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's an early hibernation thing? Maybe Mr Bear and the Mrs just needed a place to crash, and Rat Town, why not? Ive been there. Ive needed a place to crash before.
So, get this, a bear wandered into a Raton motel on Monday and a second bear broke into a Taos Ski Valley motel a day later. The bear that walked through the front doors of the Raton motel possibly was lured by the enticing smell of fresh popcorn, officials said.
"He walked in, went to the pay phones, then straight toward the pool," said desk clerk Kimbra Pacheco.
Lodgers with newspapers chased the bear through an enclosed pool area until game officers arrived. A Department of Game and Fish officer shot the animal with a tranquilizer dart.
Department officers later killed the bear, saying it had been trapped and moved from Raton a few weeks earlier and had lost its fear of humans.
The second bear forced its way through a window screen Tuesday at a Taos Ski Valley motel. The desk clerk called 911, but the bear fled before the town marshal and game officers arrived.
Officers have set a trap to try to capture the animal, which officials believe was attracted by the smell of food being cooked by lodgers on a grill outside their room.
The recent hot, dry weather in northern New Mexico may have forced some bears to search for food in different places, the department said.
The agency said people who live in bear country should keep anything that would attract them away from living areas and keep all doors and windows closed at night.

Froo Froo Says You...

2005-07-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

Ah, yet right now, right this second, another word from our dear deary dearest sponsors...

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A.D.I.D.A.S mens products. Use them, or dont. ADIDAS: Its how dirty men get clean.
Columbia Sportswear. The fashion Neanderthals pimp out. !!!Yeeeeeaaaahhh!!!
Timberland socks... yeah, I said socks.

And the music?...: Anythin, everythin Les motherfuckin Claypool!!!
More as follows...
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Numero Uno Disclaimer...

2005-06-29T01:30:00.000-07:00

Look now, fans, just cause you come on here and read some pearls of wisdom here, and myspace.com/the_blue_rhino doesnt mean you 'know' me. Fuck no! To say, 'oh, i know the blue rhino' and you actually think that you do, then yr no fan of mine and I want absolutly nothing, NOTHING to do with you... Fuck no. Saying you know some online entity just cause you read its website avantly doesnt mean, well, thats just fucking retarded in every sense of the word!

Now, a word from our sponsors...

...Lost energy drink. Drink it, or dont.
A.D.I.D.A.S mens products. Use them, or dont. ADIDAS, its how dirty men get clean.
Columbia Sportswear. The fashion Neaderthals pimp out.
Timberland socks... yeah, I said socks.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program...

And another thing, I love fucking midgets... oh, we're back, heh heh, oh, well... What was I going to say? Oh yeah, I have no desire to go see War Of The Worlds. Fuck Tom Cruise. I pretend Im older like he is and jerk it girls younger than Katie Holmes, mind you shes only 26. Now I dont really care for Holmes either, and just Ive seen her topless has nothing to do with that either. But shes got a nice rack, and that counts more or less. Anyway, fuck Tom Cruise. What a joke, and stop fucking shoving scien... science... tology down our fucking throats. I mean fucking A what the fuck is all that? I mean come on, its a load, like all the other religions out there. Lets just have everybody die and lets their gods sort them out. Whada load! I dont like you, and I dont fucking care for yr movies. Weeeeelllllll, Mission Impossible One and Two where pretty good, but that it.
That is it.

For The Art Crowd...

2005-06-18T03:30:00.000-07:00

Painted pearl unlocks secret of Raphael's love

MILAN (Reuters) - The tiny pearl brooch seems an innocuous detail in Raphael's enigmatic "Fornarina" portrait, but for one group of historians it unlocks a scandalous love affair kept secret for centuries.

According to new research published in May, the pearl, pinned onto an elaborate turban, is part of a web of allusions to the Renaissance artist's clandestine marriage to the beautiful sitter, a baker's daughter -- despite a very public engagement to the niece of a powerful
Vatican cardinal.

Officially, Raphael died a bachelor at 37.

"It was an impossible love affair," says Maurizio Bernardelli Curuz, editor of specialist journal Stile, who led a year of research into Raphael's romantic riddle. "It is hard to overstate Raphael's status in Rome -- he was a superstar. The distance separating them was like that which today would separate George Clooney and his cleaner."

The pearl, also included in the "Velata" portrait, suggests the sitter's name was Margherita -- the Latin word for pearl -- and not Maria Bibbiena, the artist's intended bride.
It ties Margherita to a string of nuptial allegories in the "Fornarina," from the band on her arm bearing Raphael's name -- an unusual way to sign a painting -- to a wedding ring on her finger, later covered up by the painter's anxious students.
"It may seem artificial to us, but these were everyday games at the Renaissance courts," says Bernardelli Curuz. "At least until the 18th Century, the allegorical side of painting was extremely important. It was Impressionism that dampened our ability to read a painting like a book."

The art historian says he has found evidence to support the allegories, from contemporary documents to X-rays of the "Fornarina" painting carried out during a recent restoration.
"Of course this is not just about the pearl, nor is it just about the documents. The absolute certainty comes from the way everything fits together," he says.
"But the pearl was what tipped us off -- we would have been forcing the allegory if it had been the other way around."

PEARLS, MYRTLE AND QUINCE
The notion that Margherita was Raphael's mistress is not altogether new -- inspired by her coy smile in the "Fornarina," 19th century France's Jean-Auguste-Dominique Ingres painted the muse sitting on the artist's knee. A century later, Picasso portrayed their trysts in a series of explicit drawings.
Novelist Honore de Balzac mentioned the two lovers.
But Bernardelli Curuz and his team have gone beyond the myth, tracing back the various symbols and uncovering documents to prove the two married in a secret ceremony, a relatively common practice at the time.

The historians say they have also proved conclusively that Margherita is the subject of both the "Fornarina" and of the "Velata," or veiled portrait, logged by one contemporary as the painting of the woman Raphael "loved until he died."
Transferring the face of one painting to the other, thanks to computer technology, there is more than a passing similarity.

And according to Bernardelli Curuz, Margherita is also to be found elsewhere in Raphael's work, from the "School of Athens" fresco to the walls of the Farnesina palace in Rome.
In the "School of Athens," painted on the walls of a room that is now part of the Vatican museum, all the characters are looking away or at each other -- only Margherita and Raphael himself are looking defiantly straight at the visitor.
But despite her presence in his paintings, Margherita's existence seems to have been kept carefully under wraps, if not by Raphael, then at least by his students.
Initial drawings uncovered under the "Fornarina" during recent restoration show the figure clothed in a diaphanous veil was sketched rapidly and presumably from life -- another indication of the painter's ties to his muse.
The sketched figure is set against quince and myrtle bushes -- symbols of fertility and fidelity -- and wears a wedding ring on her left hand.
But the final painting, completed after Raphael's death with a clumsy hand, covers the bushes and the tell-tale ring.
"At the time of his death, Raphael's school was painting the Sala di Constantino in the Vatican and they wanted at all costs to avoid losing that commission. It could have meant bankruptcy," Bernardelli Curuz says.
"He had left the "Fornarina" unfinished and the students began to fret about the landscape, the ring, anything that could tie it to the marriage."
Michelangelo, Raphael's greatest rival, was pressing the Vatican to hand him the commission.
To silence the rumors, Raphael's students placed a plaque on his tomb in the memory of his eternal fiancee, Maria Bibbiena, as if to tie the two together after death.
Raven-haired Margherita was instead sent away. Four months after Raphael's death, the convent of Sant'Apollonia in Rome's Trastevere quarter registered the arrival of "widow Margherita," daughter of a Siena baker.

River People Are Okie Day In My Book...

2005-06-13T20:20:00.000-07:00

Along these lines, I so love to chat about these kinda folks, but my favorite of Taos Walkers in New Mexico, which I am far from ever fucking revisiting. Bad news in Atzland right, eh? My man, Reverend Doctor, those are good people. Though we are two in many differences, I myself have lived with those bastards, but in a good way. River Folk are ok with me, I applaud them, like I do Mexicans. I love people with the Saul, Saul Goode, but, thats another fucking tale from the depths of the great blue rhinocerous. Anyway, I hope the come out tonight, its hot, and I can smell whiskey and gasoline, I can smell fear and pain, all four in the air. Its like a fog, that you cant see, but you know damn well its there. I know its there.
If you live in California, and yr rich, you can molest little boys and booze them up and let them climb in to yr bed naked, while yr in there waiting, drooling, while members of yr household staff watch, or snicker behind close doors. You can hire yrself and damn good attorney just for show, just, to, show that you can afford such an indulgence. My man, you to, if yr rich and you live in California, can be just like Michael Jackson. Hes bad alright and hes free. Hes free because, hes the two main factors for committing upspeakable, dusgusting crime, he lives in California, and he might not be now, or he may still be, rich. But hes both of those, and that my man, is why hes free.

You know what, here, for anybody that disagrees with me, fuck you, and Ill tell you why, because ive ranted and raved til I was blue in the face about this sort of thing before in the Casa De Sin. Ive made my case, Ive made my point.

Besides, wouldnt you think someone whos ranted and raved about this sort of thing has been there done that just to attain rant and rave rights? Ive never done anything as sick as Senor Jackosn, ooooohhhhh nooooo. Never have, never will., Thats just too sick for me. But, in times before, Ive found myself in the position Senor Nolte, Senor Nicholson, and the new crown prince of whoa, dude, Senor Barretta himself.

They dont call me The Blue Rhino for nothin'.

Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Another Place To Go Off And Be Stupid, Are You Kidding Me?...

2005-06-03T21:00:00.000-07:00

Uuuuuuuuuuuuh oooooooohhhhhh, The Blue Rhino went off and did it again. Ladies and Gentle Folk, throught a close accomplice, I have found yet another terrOrtory to go off and make mine!!!
Take a looksie...

Check me out!
Why, can you fucking believe it, thats right, go there, be stupid, say hello, and good god, can you believe it???

Im Waiting For That State To Put That Needle in Yr Eye...

2005-06-03T19:07:00.000-07:00

Destin today was glorious, simply fabulous as usual. I hadnt been there on those streets ina while and its good to know that the great, and I hate to call it this cause I have higher lusts for that city but it is pretty fucking funny that they do call it this, but its damn good to know that The Redneck Riviera is sitting with a happy face under the sun.
Im glad people there are still being sorry sacks and still driving while ignorantly moving their jaws on their cell phone. Gah! Thats all that city needs, and in Cview to, a good 25 car pile up with massive fatalites. Oooooooooooh thatd be so nice. So fucking nice. I mean that. And, and in the middle of it, we need an ambulance to overturn to. Ahahahahahahhahahahahahaha. Yeah yeah, and it carrying a person of mass interest! Like a city official. Ohhohohohohohohohohohoh. Hhahahahahahahahahaha. Wonderful, glorious! Ahahahahahhahahahaha.
...
I love those ready to eat Cuban sandwiches you find at Pubelix. I love them. Good fuel for the fire. Oh man, I got to say cheers to the people here in Cview that went out in the heat. No, im kidding, no cheers for you. It happens, should you be thanked for it? No.
What the fuck is happening over at musttipcow.blogspot.com? Somebody fill me in. I honestly dont care because the same can be said about the Casa De Sin these past few months, but I used to be a regular over there kissing sweet, sexy, lil ass and I might as well know. Oh well. Ladida.
Well now, what do we have here? We have a slew of new music, SOAD, the great Robert Plant, Audioslave. What do you fuckers think? Tell me now.
Dont spend all yr money in one place, and if you do, make sure you have goods to show for it!
Ha and ha.

Bring, Only, Mindless, Bastards...

2005-06-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

B...O...M...Bs...

We gave you fuckers the right to vote, all of you, and why the fuck dont you go out yr doors??!!! Where the fuck are yr brains at? Have you finally gone and blew them to smizzerines? Have you finally choked down yr last hit, have finally gnawed down on the big one, yes you fuckers, I bet you finally have. Well, I tell you bastardized shitheads, youve gone and done it. almost eight years to late, and not enough force 2 years ago. We gave you fuckers the right to vote, and do you bother to gather a few tools of the trade and a pockets full of anger and rebellion and lock and load the mind and fists of fury, and what, do you bother to step pitside yr door? Nope.
Nope.

Nope.

You just wait for the thunderous bucket of shit to be thrown in to the industrial sized fan and wait for it to land. There you go, there you go. You wait for it, and when it spaltters in to the nastiest backwards, reversialed damaging Kapow and you, YOU, get covered in it, yr the first to open wide and let out the kittiens of complaint. Awwwwwwwww fuck it, ARE YOU GOINTA BE GREAT IN TWO THOUSAND EIGHT?!?!?!?
...
..
....
... .. ....

ARE YOU GOINTA BE GREAT IN 2008?!?!?!? ??? ?? ????

!!! !! !!!!

ARE YOU GOINTA BE GREAT IN 2DOUBLEZERO8?

Plain and simple, are you goingta to go outside yr door and cast the stone in to the great whorle winds that is yr world in which yrgrowing, or, OR YOU FUCKERS, are you goingto sit back and relax and smile when the godess that be finally SLAMS her fist down in a fit thats long over due and proclaims, you know, this shit just aint workin out. Its all over, Im tired, Im fed up, Im fucking tired and Im burnt out, Im exhausted and Im ready for warfare!!! Where the fuck are you people to be great and agree in 2008? Where the fuck are you people going to be. Get off of the MSNBC. Get off of the FoxNews. Get off, if yr still knowingly trust in, in... ugh... CnN...
Just be great in 2008.

Do it.

Just...

There isnt a pain as great, as that that is in the eye of the beholder in 2008.
Mike my words...

A Brand, New, Fresh Start From The Art Desk...

2005-06-01T19:30:00.000-07:00

A new beginning sounds sweet to me, doesnt it? Open me another Negra Modelo, open me another, yes bring me another Corona, pass me that bowl if you will. Im sprouting firey wings here, and its better late than never.
Reynold Thorpe, my man, thank you for all yr help these past few months. Theyve been trying times you know. We here at the Casa De Sin, and all of us over at geocities.com/chocolateeasterjesus have found the sin Sloth to be the best thing in our lives. Yes, we're Sloths here because once youve spent the better half of yr talent reaping in the rewards that yr talent has finally paid for, well, you pick a sin like you play a session of Russian Roulet. You pick a 14 shot Magnum, yes, they make those, black marketed as the are, they make those, and you load it up with the 7 beautiful sins every other slot, and whamo, if you live, then you open the chamer again, spin it up, lock and load and play again later. Yes folks, thats how we do it here at the good ole' Casa De Sin. Fast and Ignorant. Haha!!
We know, yes, that its a glorious May 1st and like we always ask, where and what the hell has The Blue Rhino been doing?
Yes.
So folks, The Blue Rhino here. We're going to work on, desperatly, to dish out the low down on all the great afternoon LaBamba indulged chats here. Thats right, me and my attorney are going to give all you hardcore TbR and Chocolate Easter Jesus fans exactly what you want!!!
We're ready, and we're goin to show no, absolutly NO mercy here!
Youve been warned...

The Days Of Yore...

2005-05-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

The comes a time when the mind is begging for some release when the body has already had its moment over and over and fucking over again continuously like that and the mind is secretly feeling oh so fucking cheated. The mind, you know, isnt one at all to ask for a break or a day off, oh no its not, it takes its abuse and makes sure that its acting, hense I say, acting, tougher than tough with no sincere feeling of rest...

A Message From The Past Desk...

2005-05-14T23:30:00.000-07:00

( KoRn)

Blind, Balltongue, Need to, Clown, Divine, Faget, Shoots and Ladders, Predictable, Lies, Helmet in the Bush, Fake, Daddy, (Life is Peachy) Twist, Chi, Lost, Swallow, Porno Creep, Good God, Mr. Rogers, K#@%, No Place to Hide, Wicked, ADIDAS, Lowrider, Ass Itch, Kill you, Twist [without music]. ( Follow the Leader ) 1-12 Five seconds of silence Each, It's on, Freak on a Leash, Got the Life, Dead Bodies Everywhere, Children of the KoRn, BBK, Pretty, All in the Family, Reclaim my Place, Seed, Justin, Cameltosis, My Gift to You. (Issues ) Dead, Falling away from me, Trash, 4 U... .. ....

Had enough yet? I haven't!! Beg for me, Make me Bad...I know, let's get to the new songs everyone seems to hate!! (Untouchables) Here to Stay, Bottled up Inside, Blame, Hollow Life, Thoughtless, Hating, One more Time, Alone I break, Embrace, Beat it Upright, Wake up Hate, I'm Hiding, No ones There. (Take a Look in the Mirror ) Right now, Break some Off, Counting on Me, Here it comes Again, Deep inside, Did my time, Everything I've known, Play me, Alive, Let's do this Now, I'm done, Ya'll want a single, When will this end. And then the greatest hits CD, Featuring Word Up, and Another Brick in the wall pts 1, 2, and 3.

Now...

How many of those have you heard? And how many other albums have you underestimated, then secretly snuck off, bought, and listened to night after night? KoRn is undeniably the greatest band to date, and I'll defend them with prestige.
Oh yea, and knowing fully that I hardly used a single foul word. . . . . .

fuck off, you cock sucking, fucking shit faced bastardize fuck headed . . . .
*Ahem* assholes.

KoRn are gods, long live KoRn . . .
and grammaricly correct typists. . .
and haters that we can use for constant entertainment . . .

Love, yr pals,
The Blue Rhino & KoRn

On The Galapogos Today...

2005-05-13T22:00:00.000-07:00

QUITO, Ecuador - A volcano has begun to erupt on one of the Galapagos Islands' but authorities said Friday that the few unique animal species on the island danger.
The Cumbre volcano on Fernandina Island, which has no human inhabitants, started to erupt early Thursday, sending a mile-wide column of vapor and ash four miles into the sky, Hugo Yepez, director of Ecuador's Geophysics Institute, told Radio Quito.
Unlike several of the other islands in the chain, Fernandina, located on the western side of the archipelago, has few rare birds and iguanas and is not a main tourist attraction.
"I don't believe it would be necessary to do anything still in terms of security but to wait for nature to take its course," said Washington Tapia, director of the Galapagos National Park.
The Galapagos Islands, about 620 miles off Ecuador's Pacific coast, are home to unique animal species that inspired Charles Darwin's theory of evolution.
Amazing, I want to live there!!
R.T.

Slave To The Audio...

2005-05-04T19:00:00.000-07:00

Super group Audioslave are set to become the first U.S. rock band to perform outdoors in Cuba, sharing the stage with their Cuban music counterparts. The group, currently touring in support of their upcoming sophomore release, "Out of Exile," accommodated their touring schedule to be able to give a special performance May 6 at La Tribuna in Havana, Cuba. The concert will be free and open to the Cuban public. In the past, the open air venue has accommodated up to 1 million people. The performance, the first open air concert by a U.S. rock band in Cuba, was authorized by the U.S. Treasury Department and the Instituto Cubano de la Musica. The effort represents an opportunity to share with the Cuban youth the free expression of music that embodies rock and roll. "Kids are the same all over the world, and we are extremely proud and excited to bring rock 'n' roll to the youth of Cuba. It's all about the music, and free expression of music crosses all barriers. This is a rare opportunity, and we are grateful and honored to have the support of both countries," said Audioslave. The band will be in Havana May 4-7, interacting with the Cuban youth and the Cuban musical artists. Interscope/Epic as well as Done and Dusted, a U.K. film production company, are producing the event with the Instituto Cubano de la Musica.
Yeah!!!

Senor Bourdain In Hong Kong...

2005-04-29T10:00:00.000-07:00

American celebrity chef, TV host and author Anthony Bourdain is visiting Hong Kong one of the world's culinary capitals and says the dish he likes the best is the suckling pig.
"Oh my God, that was a religious experience," the South China Morning Post on Thursday quoted Bourdain as saying when he described the pork dish. "In the words of Homer Simpson, the pig is a magical animal."
Bourdain, who rarely hides his contempt for vegetarians, said the suckling pig is probably the best example of pork, the paper reported.
"When it's done brilliantly, I mean, it's all about the skin and that skin was just fantastic," he said.
Bourdain, executive chef at New York's Les Halles restaurants, was on a promotional tour of Hong Kong. His TV show "A Cook's Tour" is shown on cable networks in parts of Asia.
The chef said he's been avoiding India, Italy and other places that have been covered by more knowledgeable people.
"I've been nibbling away at the edges for so long now, eating Chinese food in America, Malaysia, Singapore and Taipei, that I don't care if I look like an idiot. I just want to experience it," he said.

Big Shits On A Sunday Afternoon In The City Of Sloth...

2005-04-17T11:00:00.000-07:00

Another day of shitfests in the Church's Hospital ward... you bastard, its damn good to hear from you Reverand Doctor, where the flying fucking homicides have you been? Its ok, dont answer, because I dont really care one way or another. You pig fucking swine, im severely distraught of the season finale of Carnivale a few eeks ago, every Sunday comes now and I have no reason to watch TV because that ungodly show isnt on, and it pains me to think of what I might do when the 9pm hour hits. It does. Dont ever load up on Mexican booze. Does it get you anywhere, no. Would I have done that 2 years ago? Well, had I had the funds I have now, well, sure, of course I would. Brain cells can be bought on Ebay, why sure as fuck they can. Hell, I can buy midgets on that fucking shithouse website. Im sure in time, in the coming monthes, youll find Pope artifacts on Ebay such as finger nail clippings, bed pans, new and used stationery, and used condoms. Dont argue with me cause youll lose, Im right and yr, not so right. Youll find those things on the website Ebay, mark it down, say a prayer, squeeze one out, youll find them and then some. They same people thatll buy those things are the same people that have pretty good taste in amaxingly freakish adult enttertainment. You ask yrself, whos going to watch 'Lengthy Nights Out With Jack Russell Terriers' or 'Girls Who Love Midget Girls Who Love The Pope'? Ill tell you who, the fine upstanding, law abiding, decent job holding women of Crestview. Now, thats not saying AnYtHiNg bad about the female population in this city, oh no, hell no its not, its just saying that they are far more artistically advanced than one might hope and beyond and beyond any comprehension than you or I can fathom. Its like the women in duff parts of the cental part of this state. You know they love that kind of entertainment and theyll purcahse it and view it everyday of the week and 4 times on Sunday. Believe you me buddy, they do it out in New Mexico and theyre damn well proud of it. They have stock in people like that. The Dow Hones in this country counts on it and cant control their bowels because of it. Shit, who do you think funds parts of Nasa. You know goddamned well that the Pornography Bureau in the USA is gritting their teeth and rubbing their hands together for the first ticket in to outer space to send up a Jenna Jameson clone and match her with a Pierce Brosnan or Leonairdo Decaprio replica and let them fornicate like fucking jack rabbits and then that shit right back to Earth view Pay Per View or, what is it now, In Demand, and some ungodly sleeze pit website and make pimplish geeks and momma's boys and housewifes dish out a years worth of allowance for a good 15 to 20 minutes of snippet and get a glimpse of 'Back Door Beauty 3000' or 'Golden In Yr Eye' or 'My Titanic Is That Titanic'. Then youll see that those fuckers mean business.
Count the days bubba, its right around the corner and its not that such a long walk.
Caio,
R.T.

Dont Judge Any Of Us...

2005-04-13T12:00:00.000-07:00

Jesus god!!...
So there we where, in The FBI Mobile, barrling down the great Crestview drag strip, my hands where clutching the wheel as I rode with the windows down and the Zep playing very loud hoping people in the surrounding tools would catch a sound of the tunes and hope to fuck theyd be having a good time to while they where flying high in the shitcities happy hour, you know, hey, hey, good idea, lets stop in to a pawn shop and swear cause theyre no good CDs there! Sure, why not. Hey, good deal there, a buck 99 is a great fucking price for a used CD around here. Fucking Coinstar, you have to pay to use it??!! What kind of rat fuck idea is that, are you fucks too lazy to attain coin rolls? You miserable shits, fuck you government!
Get outta my way!
Fucking mirrors and their midnights. No one will ever believe you slimy shitfaces. No one likes you filthy, bastardized cocks! I certainly wont stand for it anymore as I am the newly crowned prince of shit in the city of Fuckview, Florida. As new crowned prince, my first duty of office is to throw food and swear, while smoking this Dunhill and downing a beer.
But dont throw food on the oranged tiles, please. Yr right, that was a thoughtless, less than glamorous fucking idea. No, I dont regret it, but I frown on it, because was that really professional? Even for a few laughs?
Its midnight in the shitty of the damned, do you feel it, I can. Ask yrself...
Would you had done that two years ago?
The times they get a longer from the past and they stretch out uncontrolably for a reason that I feel deeply disappointed to. The sand moves beneath my feet carrying me farther and farther from that lust I beg for so much. No tears for the body is too dry, and no blood flow for the heart is too mucked. But such it is. Breathing in bleach, will you stop that! Just relax. Yes, relax. Yr not relaxing, I said relax. Pick up some of the sticky stuff and puff it for a teeny, tiny while until yr mind opens up and lets you breathe for a second and relaxation sets in so you can say, its gointa be ok. No promises here, ever. Not the slightest. But remember now, all the Princes of all the Shitcities will avail. Just watch.

Get the fuck outta that bathroom and quit smearing shit on the walls. Human caca is not, IS NOT finger paint!!
My man, Reverand Doctor, my friend, you, are a fucking junkie. I do not have the goddamned time for these junkies living in the either void, nor do I have yr fucking address to send you any of his works that he left behind. Soo oo oooo, with that being said, grow up, turn on, tune in, and drop out, will you please.

No polotics tonight. Bring me the coffee and a bacon sandwich.

A post by: Reynold Thorp, resurrected.

You reahy fer ah ryde?...

2005-04-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

New Mexico's using a high tech 'dude, gimmer yr keys' method...

SANTA FE, N.M. - Chris Romero hops into his blue-and-white Ford pickup, clicks the ignition on and then off again, and reaches for what looks like a black cell phone hanging from his dashboard.
"Ready for test. Please blow," reads the display screen on the device.
Romero blows for about four seconds into a short plastic tube that sticks out of the top, then hears a beep. He has passed the test — the screen says, "Drive safely."
The twice-convicted drunken driver is, indeed, driving safely these days — thanks to his determination and the help of an ignition interlock, which would prevent him from starting the truck if he had been drinking.
"I just think it's a really good thing," said Romero, 42, who gave up alcohol after the device was installed three months ago. "It's almost a safety net."
With about 2,600 offenders a year ordered by courts to get interlocks, New Mexico has more of them currently installed per capita than any other state.
And that number could skyrocket. All convicted drunken drivers — nearly 13,000 annually — will be required to get interlocks under a new law Gov. Bill Richardson planned to sign on Wednesday.
While interlocks are employed to varying degrees in more than 40 states, New Mexico will be the first to require such broad use.
"What's unique about it is that it's the entire state, and a mandate for first offenders," said Paul Marques, senior research scientist with the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation in Calverton, Md.
Marques says that studies point to a big drop — 40 percent to 95 percent — in DWI re-arrests while interlocks are in use.
New Mexico has been grappling for years with an intractable DWI problem. New Mexico had the sixth highest rate in the nation for alcohol-related highway deaths in 2003. There were 213 fatalities and 3,500 alcohol-involved crashes, according to state officials.
The new law requires interlocks for one year for a first conviction, two years for a second, three years for a third, and for a lifetime — with appeals at five-year intervals — for a fourth or subsequent conviction.
Opponents say the new law is too punitive and would disproportionately affect the poor, who they argued are more likely to get convicted.
Advocates acknowledge that the system is not foolproof. Some judges don't order interlocks — even when the law says they must. And some offenders ignore interlock mandates, or install them and then drive other vehicles.
But Karen Sprattler, national director of public policy for Mothers Against Drunk Driving, says officials have learned that revoking licenses won't stop drunken driving.
"It doesn't take a piece of plastic to start a vehicle. ... We need to do something that goes beyond that," she said.
State Sen. Phil Griego, a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for four years, used the device for more than a year after his second DWI arrest. "It really helped me when I got the urge to drink, knowing that if I had a drink I couldn't start my truck," he said.
During an hour-long lunch break from his job at a print shop, Romero's interlock demands that he test two more times, five minutes after he starts the truck and about 40 minutes later.
He has six minutes to comply with the retest demand, or else his horn honks until the truck turns off. Some interlock systems can shut off vehicles, but New Mexico doesn't allow that.
Without a license after his arrest last summer, Romero often ended up walking the five miles between home and work. His interlock has made it easier to keep his job.
"Some people call it an inconvenience," he said. "I say that it's just exactly the opposite, because you're still able to live your life."

See You Later Senor Blue Rhino...

2005-04-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

In Crestview, Florida, The Sunshine State, The State Of Sin, The True Land Of The Lost, The monster known as The Blue Rhino has died today.
The Blue Rhino, a god of all media and self proclaimed 'prince of shit', commited suicide in His fortified mansion somewhere in the suberbs of Crestview. The self proclaimed 'Prince of Shit' was found by His Cleaning Lady, Clairilyn, who had only one commit at that moment, 'Well, better late than never'.
The Blue Rhino was a regular at many, many places in Crestview, Including various restaurants, local hangouts, and Walmart. He belonged to several online sites such as, einsteinshrugged.co.uk and the ES yahoo group, the Yahoo group stonertimes, chocolateeasterjesus.blogspot.com, musttipcow.blogspot.com and various outlaw magazines and publications.
The Blue Rhino's artwork will be sold, auctioned and simply given away through geocities.com/chocolateeasterjesus
The Blue Rhino, dead, at 22.

CEJ, A Luncheon After...

2005-03-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."
- Doc Thompson

Cheerfollowers...

2005-03-19T22:00:00.000-08:00

In Chicago, IL today, a breed of my favorite human beings, Cheerleaders and band majorettes in Texas, and Im sure elsewhere thanks to this wonderful fucking country of ours, could soon be barred from performing bump-and-grind routines in an effort to make Friday night football games more "family friendly," according to a bill working its way through the state legislature.

Representative Al Edwards of Houston proposed last week to bar "sexually oriented" performances during sporting events at Texas high schools, middle schools and elementary schools. "The way they're moving their bodies, it's not twirling or doing the splits. Those majorettes are doing things that are sexual," said Edwards, a 26-year veteran of the statehouse. "The legislation said we don't want to see that anymore or we might cut your funding later."
Edwards said the sexually suggestive routines send the wrong message to teenagers.
Cheerleading is a huge industry involving millions of American students at the primary, high school and college level. There are competitions for children as young as four and Texas is home to some of the most feverish participants.
"If you're in Texas you start when you come out of the womb," said Rhonda Roberts, marketing and promotions director for the United Spirit Association which offers summer training camps and competitions. Roberts said that while explicit and inappropriate moves have now become common in cheerleading routines they are frowned upon by judges at competitions. She welcomes the move by Edwards, though she thinks the ban will be hard to enforce.
"Anything that promotes family-oriented behavior is a good thing," she said. "I think the parents will probably appreciate it."

And I think sex should be welcomed with open arms, its like the plague, its just keeps coming until you cant stop it, no pun intended.

Tiny Windshield, Large Eyes...

2005-03-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

The sun peels back and the great clouds of pearled wisdom peeks through the emerald flank of an army oh so ready to demolish and conquer. We'll see you there, we'll see you, we're ready and we're waiting, we'll be there soon...

A Plug For The Deaf, Revisited...

2005-03-13T16:44:00.000-08:00

Do you enjoy quiet evenings at yr pad, sipping warm tea, listening to the TV and, typing on the PC? While yr surfing, may I ask you, do you like looking at groups on Yahoo? Hey, do you like unmoderated discussion groups?
Huh, do you? Do you, answer me now!
Do you like these kind of groups dealing with lots of the wonderful drug we call PoLiTiCs?
Yes, you say?
Then wonderful!!!!!!! Ah, ha ha ha ha, the wonderful world of politics!!!
But wait, there's more!!! We got quantum physics, current events, science, corruption, religion and anything else your juiced up little pink and grey mattered brain can come up with!
Ever just wish you had some friends you could talk to on this wonderful box we call our PCs? Well jeeeeeee wizz! Have I got a sweet little group for you! C'mon and join up for some gonzo discussion dedicated to... well, pretty much all that hullabalooh I just mentioned, yeah, anything and everything. We're an unmoderated, open group, so those of you with sensitive, I said SENSITIVE, constitutions might want reconsider signing up... the rest of you should come right on in and make yrselves known. By signing up for this list you will also be informed whenever www.einsteinshrugged.co.uk is updated [{(... sorry, Im deaf, you may or may not choose to put this... "and when yr local Blue Rhinocerouses little joint, thebluerhino.blogspot.com is lit up to."...)}] .

So, get set, get ready, and let yrself go!!!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/EinsteinShrugged/
!!!Just where you wanna be!!!

No Sex In The Church's Holy Water Room...

2005-03-05T02:09:00.000-08:00

Dearest Reverend Doctor,
Im sorry, did you say Heineken? My god my man, well why the fucking shit didnt you say so. There is nothing, nothing in this city more greater than driving down roads and dirt roads, and dirty back roads of old while crusing with a few bottles of Holland's finest with the windows down and the tunes blaring. My man, those days are the days I wish to return every single fucking day of my existence. Doc, those days I yearn for and find myself over many, many shots of the most high powered alcohol shedding a tear to return to the ways of the road warrior with my accomplices crusing in the late evening, early morning hours with zero care in the world, a belly full of alco and pocket full of smokes and Crestview Gold and the mind dancing to the tune of dirty desert music. Awwwww, so beautiful, so fucking monstrously beautiful. Nothing more sentimental than those fucking times. Thats the Amerikant Dream my man, and dont let anybody tell you otherwise. If they do, their pussies and theyre lying because theyre ashamed to admit that thats true fucking freedom and you cant change a plague like that for anything in the city, state, region, country, planet. Not a god damned thing. Thats true beauty, TRUE BEAUTY my man. Those people that tell you otherwise most likly have something to do with the state, like go to college, have a stuck in the mud shitty jobs, cry at night while their humping their bed, paint something with importance pink... I didnt mean that, I didnt mean that, er, eh, you know, people that you see everyday and when you look so totally confident on the edge of madness, they know it, and they look at you funny, fuck, you could just look confident knowing you are an individual and yr never going to change and theyd still look at you funny. Thats what they want. But are you going to give it to them, fuck no. Not here, not ever, thank you very much. Somewhere around here I have a Manifucksto that I wrote on the peak of my Gonzosity. I have it, and I will repost it, and justify again and again and again, this city breeds shit, pain, ignorance and most of individualists thatll never fucking change no matter how fucking hard you push them, laugh at them, swear and curse at them and attempt to change them, no sir, no way in HeLl will they change, and those, those individuals that have that titanium strong will are my people, and I will never leave them.

This is our world in which we grow, and we're comin for you.

And arrived, we have, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, you wanted it, you got it, The Blue Rhino presents, in there entirty, The Manifucksto Collection...
Take the ticket, go on, take it...

Heyllo, hehllo, huhllo, HELLO, I am The great, goddamned, muhthafucking, Blue Rhinocerous!!! I am what I am, and I am everything that you think, and you say I am!!! I dont care what you think. I may be a good little boy, or I may be a bad lil fucker. Either way, I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK!!!I am The Blue Rhino.I have a personality. I am an individual. I aint one of the pack, Im not yr neighborhood law abiding gee golly swell buddy, and I aint yr dime a dozen piece of meat, born and raised to follow watered down, conservative, church going, right wing ground set rules!!! You cant bring me down! You cant take me down! You cant take shit away from me!! You cant do shit to me!!! You cant step to me, you cant step up to me, you cant step to me, YOU CAN NOT STEP UP TO ME!!!! !!! !! !!!!!!! !! !!!!RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got me?!
Huh?!!
Do you??!!!

You know, hell, I am who I am. No fucking more, no fucking less, and I never really did give a shit about anything, or really anyone, you know, thats just who I am, I dont give a shit anymore. Yeah, ANYFUCKING MORE. Not like I ever did, but I draw the line tonight! Ive said it for years, YEARS, Im a goddamned fucking monster that shoulda been put down for his own good a looooong time ago. But I wasnt. I wont be either! It aint worth being me, fuck it, ooooh fuck no it aint. But I wouldnt want to be anyone else either. Jesus fuckin Christ, I got a whole manuscipt on this. A whole big fuckin manuscript. Im who I am, and Im what I am. You dont like it, fine. I dont like it either. But you cant change what cant be changed, no you cant, and I certainly wont either!!! Read #001. I dont care. I really dont. And none of this fucking shit I go through ever brings me down!!!
Ever!!!
Its what I am!
Fuck it!
Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah!!!
Got me.
I do.

What!!! !! !!!!

(Just change the Is to Wes and youll be just fine!!! !! !!!!)

Laxatives Are Not A Toy!...

2005-03-03T10:10:00.000-08:00

Ok, you remember before The Blue Rhino was shipped off to prison, well, before that for those of you who where arond, you remember when The Camp had its affinity for Shit Juice? Down a bottle and see what happens. Well, Ive nixed the juice and found that Ex Lax tabs taste quite good. Yes, wash a pack down with a Diet Coke, hey now, I cant wait to see what happens. Oh come on now, I know som of you people are interested! Dont lie to me. I sure as hell wouldnt lie to you so why bother going through all the fucking trouble and liying to me that yr not a slight bit curious to see what happens with this bout. I am so fucking excited to see what happens and I cant fucking wait to see what 6 to 12 hours will bring. Theres something fern and extremly fulfilling about toying around with laxatives that straighten out the stomach and conjure up spirits of the fecal hosts. I love it. It brings me back to the work out nights and Citrate O' Magnesia mornings. Super fucking lovly. Cant you tell. Its 10am here in the mansion and already, from nerves, I can feel rumblings. Mmmmmmmm, mmmmmmmm! The suspense. The fucking suspense. In other news, real quick, a 22 pound lobster died today somewhere in New England. That has absolutly nothing to do with me or my bowels, but its popped in my mind for no apparent reason other than when I saw the post this morning, it looked strangly interesting. Dying lobsters are not really interesting. Neither are American soldiers dying for oil. Thats just plain garbage, yet its posted on everywhere and everything. Never forget, never really cared. Sure, Ill spout a lil politics here right now, but its always on my mind, and thought we here at Camp Blue Rhino are always thinking about politics, the P word, our true drug and more truer religion, its the way of the blog. You cant be a blogger without dishing a lil politics to the masses. Nah, you just cant. God, my arms are tired, I need to fucking quit flying around the room. Oh hoh hoh hoh. Not funny, cause this shit really hurts. Fuck. Ok, got to relax for a moment and collect myself. Hmmmmm. Hmmmmmm. Much better.

BBQ Chicken Breasts Are A Food Group, right?...

2005-03-02T18:20:00.000-08:00

Another evening going on right now here in the Mansion. Its a good thing my wonderful Lennox works or else Im sure Id be reliving nights out there in that desert, and we sure as fuck dont want that kinda story telling round here these days, now do we, oh fuck no, eh heh heh. I tell you, fans for those that must know, Chocolate Easter Jesus artwork is going to be thrown down! Yeahp, brand new spunking CEJ art is in the works right now, and no, for those of you that have responded, no more loathing about not being a woman. We're all over that here at Camp Blue Rhino, haha, yeah, haha, laugh it up, they where difficult evenings and watching too much ABC 3's soaps, well, that didnt really help either, good stories are always welcome, but that kind of mind fucking is bad news, bad on the mind as I said, and bad juju. But, its in the fucking works and when I do get it finished, land of the plentiful, www.geaocities.com/chocolateeasterjesus will smack it up there for all the pretty eyes you fans have to see! Yeah, yeah I know, too many exclamation marks, but hey, isnt that just The ole Blue Rhino's style, of course it is!! So, get set, get ready, and take the ticket and enjoy the ride, cause over in that neck of the county, its gonna start happenin... Wait, wait a sec, why not here? Why the fuck not here?! Why the fucking shit not here, Blue Rhino???!!! Well. Well Ill tell you, be good now, Ill tell you. Come on, you already know!! Im not one to stay in just one place. Im everywhere you sure as fuck dont want to be! Ah hahahahahaha. Of course you fans knew that. Anyhoo, ill be there, you better be to.

Now, what the fuck is happening over at chocolateeasterjesus.blogspot.com? Why arent the moving around? Why dont you post over there to, Mr Media King? I dunno...

Come on now, theresa difference in artwork and serial killing.
Isnt there?

No, no now, be nice, behave. Gas, diareah. Come on, be nice, be sweet.

When Its Gases, It Diareahs...

2005-02-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

February...

This fucking month better be a god damned dream or some over the top wake up call. Not only did The Blue Rhino's gOd shoot himself, but, Antimusic.com told me that MTV told them that Guitarist Brian "Head" Welch, a founding member of Korn, has left the band and has rededicated his life to Christianity, according to the group's management.
"Korn has parted ways with guitarist Brian 'Head' Welch, who has chosen Jesus Christ as his savior, and will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end," a statement from the band reads. "Korn respects Brian's wishes, and hopes he finds the happiness he's searching for."
What in the high holy fuck??!! What is this? What the fuck is this??!! No way, I dont believe it. Im only posting this hog wash because at Camp Blue Rhino Ive had accomplices pull this kind of number before, and it never last, and, well, Im a devoted KoRn fan. But, jeez, this is just weird. Too weird. Im sure its get weird over in The KoRn Korner, but still, seriously.
Maybe Ill just pull a stunt of my own. Yes, yes I think Ill go be Catholic. Har har har!! Yeah, right. Maybe Ill go get a sex change and pay it off by whoring in Panama City. Wonderful, there I go. Yeah, right. Maybe Ill go boozing and pick up midgets and we'll go to a shit hole interstate motel and have us an athletic romp in the bathroom involving pickels, coke, and marshmellow cream. Yeah... riiiiiiiight.
Whada stupid fucking month isnt it?

We All Feel The Same...

2005-02-22T01:00:00.000-08:00

Around here in Cessview, its kinda hard to actually sit back and say, whew things are going to be ok. But if you get to that point in yr day, week, or even minute, hour, are things actually ok? Sure, they are. But only for that short period of time. Things arent ok. They never are. This fucking wonderful world we live in and the things that make us twitch inside and out. Things that you just want to smash in the face with a claw hammer, or kick in the groin with a soccer cleat. God damn right! This wonderful, wonderful, oh so fucking wonderful life we live in. We cant be a lil bit happy for one second, oh no, specially not here, ooooooh no, no, no, no, no, no! Of course not. Thatd be too easy now wouldnt it. And, as I always speak, believe you me, we dont do things the easy way. They get done the hard way, or else they dont get done at all. You hear me? Its the hard way or it doesnt simply get done. It doesnt necassarily has to be my way, no, it can be our way. Our way. Its always, always, always the fucking hard way. Got me? Of course you do.

And for the love of fucking shit, jesus fucking shit you foreighner third world people STOP INBREEDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please for shits fucking sake, stop, sToP, STOP INBREEDING!!!!!!!!
Its not funny anymore, its just fucking ridiculous. Just fucking makes yrselves look stupid and just, fucking, uuugggghhhhh!!!! Stop it!!

Everyone Dies...

2005-02-21T11:00:00.000-08:00

Everyone dies. Why should anyone be any different.

I feel so fucking sick to my stomach right now. I feel like I could rip it out. What else have I got to say. I have nothing else to fucking say.

The Casa De Sin Is In The Works Of Resort Treatment: Part Dos...

2005-02-17T02:40:00.000-08:00

You know the gig where you get a lot of people to send you a dollar and see if it makes you rich or not, at what time do you sit down and say is this really how I want to have a thinglike this accomplished?
...

Its going to start getting dark here, so brace yrself, ok?
...

Free artwork is a bitch, and some day Ill be paid back for it, and you people out there who took it from me and sent me absolutly nothing will not, WILL NOT, be forgtotten! Mark this type. Mark it well.

My blood is shit brown, I know that for a fact. My sun doesnt shine and when it rains, it floods. Ive lost my mind a while back and when the Lost and Found Department, they called to inform me that they indeed found it, but I know damn well it was them calling every half our on the half hour but I stayed clear of that goddamned phone. I didnt want it back, and they period didnt want it either. You give something to someone who doesnt want what yr giving them. Doesnt work that way. Just doesnt.

What a beautiful day out here in Cessview, in the mansion, and right smack dab in the middle of the studio. The sun's pourin in and making thingsa ll soooper shiny and I feel so invigorated that I think Ill use the word InViGoRaTeD as much as I can, you know, huh, do you, I feel that word is encompassing The old Blue these days that the artwork is taking a huge, over dramatic turn for the best. Thats right, its the SpA treatment mode these days that it feels like the right place to be, I want to yell finally, but I wont slaughterhouse that bridge yet.

The Casa De Sin Is In The Works Of Resort Treatment...

2005-02-16T12:00:00.000-08:00

Starting, now, The Casa De Sin is going in to full Summer Mode, which means, we'll be stepping up emotions that lead in to high powered rants and romps here in the studios. We'll be picking up gear and sloshing it around for all the fun to run amok here and there!
Get ready, we know we are.

Its All Commin Round...

2005-02-10T15:00:00.000-08:00

Hello folks, my name is The Blue Rhino. It must be the ancient Zoloft in my blood from my high school days remissioning on me cause Im just too hap, hap, happy these days and I got the biggest smile on my face. Im sorry if these current tones make all my fellow Cesstuckians angry, but here at The Casa De Sin, we just aint havin it! We aint having no bad days any more, we just aint having no complaints, no sads, no frets. We're too happy and after last nights epiphany, we're going to attempt to clean up our acts a little bit. I said attempt, so, dont get yr fucking hopes up. Ahahahahahahahha, oOops, I let one slip nowadays like I let a vapor pass in the living room when Im knee deep in Law and Order, or L&O SVU. So, take a deep breath, exhale, smile, and take a laugh. Smile.
Smile.

Smile, yr viewing The Blue Rhino's Casa De Sin.

We're in the Blacklight District!

We're in the Bluelight District!

My Site Is To Honest For You, Isnt It?...

2005-02-10T01:30:00.000-08:00

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh,
babble babble bitch bitch moan moan complain all day bore bore bore and dont forget some violence, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
bland and same old, rutting, monatonous, stick yr stupid post on, everybody bitch along!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you ready for the same shit?????????
Come on and admit!!!!!
Ready for the same shit?????
Come on and read it!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you muthafuckers ready?????
Read it and admit!!!!!!
Its the motherfucking same shit!!!!!!!!
Waste yr time with it!!!!!!
Do we care about it???? No!!!!!!
Do we yearn to read it???? Yes!!!!!!
The same old shit!!!!!!
Get to reading it!!!!!!
We dont like our job, thats the only thing we got going for us, cant get off the same fucking subject to save our own skin. We complain day in and day out bout how much we hate our job, we'd go out and find a new one in Cessview but we wont bother cause we're milking this tit dry!!! We need this bitching, we need this moaning, its Cessview!!!! Cessview!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We only got one, 1, one complaint, we dont like our job, scream it, WE DONT LIKE OUR JOB and we're way too pussy to go out and find a new one somewhere else!!!!!!!! We hate our job! We HaTe OuR jOb!!! WE, HATE, OUR, JOB!!!!!!!!!!
We're milking this tit dry!!!!!!!
Dry!!!!!!!!!!!! Dry!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dry motherfucker, dry!!!!!!
Dry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All you people out there in Cesscity, grow up.
Grow up.

Outlaw Claude Dallas Finally Gets Freed...

2005-02-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

In Boise, Idaho's most infamous outlaw, Claude Dallas, was released from prison Sunday morning after serving 22 years for the execution-style slayings of two state officers in 1981.

Dallas, 54, gained notoriety as both a callous criminal and a modern-day mountain man at odds with the government. He was released Sunday after his 30-year term was cut by eight years for good behavior.

Dallas wore a light blue shirt, prison-issue jeans and a denim jacket as he walked out of the Idaho Correctional Institution in Orofino at 4:55 a.m., said Teresa Jones, an Idaho Department of Correction spokeswoman. "He doesn't want to talk to the media or make a big deal out of his release," said Kevin Kempf, the prison warden. "He just wants to go live his life."

Dallas was picked up by a family member. He was convicted of manslaughter in 1982 for the shooting deaths of Conley Elms and Bill Pogue, officers for the Idaho Department of Fish and Game who were investigating reports of bobcat poaching by Dallas in remote southeast Idaho.
Pogue, who had drawn his own weapon, was hit first with a shot from Dallas' handgun. Dallas then shot Elms two times in the chest before using a rifle to fire one round into each man's head.

The case made national headlines and turned Dallas into an anti-government folk hero for some — a reputation only heightened by a 1986 jailbreak. Dallas hid for nearly a year before he was caught and sent back to prison. He was charged in the escape, but acquitted by a jury after he testified he had to break out because prison guards threatened his life.

Day Of The Supremo Bowl...

2005-02-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

Ah, sportsfans, here it is, the Day Of Days. The Evenings Of Evenings! Its Superbowl time and we here at The Casa De Sin couldnt be more happier for an event. Now, its not the greatest of Superbowl in the history of Bowls, but, I believe itll be a showdown to remember. My team of the land is the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, those bastards have it so sweet, and well they should! These guys a few years back showed that one team can walk in to a battle and take which is rightfully theirs and not do a damn thing ever again. But, who exactly is The Blue Rhino pledging alligence to this evening, well, I myself am rooting for the Philly Eagles, and, itll be interesting to see if the NE Pats can pull out a second in a row victory. That Brady guy is the best thing they got hands down like last year they got going for them, and sometimes the QB is all a team HAS working for them, but all it took last year was one f'in QB to work magic against the Panthers.
I think itll be a hell of a battle, one hell of a battle, and Im looking forward to it.
Got to go marinate wings!

Journalism, What A Crock...

2005-02-01T21:00:00.000-08:00

Sure, go ahead Blog Administrators, fuck you people and yr Freedom Of Speech, shame on you. Well, here goes round two here in The Blue Rhino's Lovly Casa De Sin.

Or, is it Casa De Anger?

Bartender, please bring me another round of bullshit!!!
No no, lets forget about all this shit and say, four more times. Now I doubt I even give a flying fuck about this site anymore. And congrats, Kas for the Daily News taking an interest in yr site! Recognition is always a step ahead in the right direction. As for me, I dont even read the Daily News, and I never would either. Im having my battle on here with them because I dont like their journalists, or whatever you want to call them, I call them lazy sacks of laziness. Did you like that, I dont like them, because, well, theyre lazy, they dont do their god given talent of journalistic investigation, I they suck, sure, go with the easy way out and find the blandest sons of crap you can find, but thwen you have the oppertunity to talk to a real celeb living in this shit hole paradise, well, you people suck!!! If, and if they want, they can come out and get me, Ive got plenty of time, plenty of it for a good word throw around and, and about yr lil paper, I know that most of the people that read that nonsense are either fine residents of the Cview Manor, or have been residents of the Cview Manor, and nothing against them, not a damn thing, I have abosolutly nothing against old people, as long as they dont drive, nothing against them at all. I just know that if you put something of ole Rhino's in the paper, one of two things could possibly happen, one, someone would get sued, two, someone would have a stroke or a fatal heart attack. I know I dont want any of those things to happen to anyone that reads the paper. Other people, well, youd have to contact me off list about that, I have a long list of people Id wish those things on. Well, you know where to find, pick up some dirt and throw it anywhere Victora, or, Victoria, whatever, I dont care and could give a rat fuck!! But, I honestly dont think theyd put some of my stuff on there anyfuckinghow, not just for the above reason, s, but this is a south city, we dont need an underbelley here. Fuck no, not in our lil Bush goin city. We will not have the I word. Fuck the I word.
Fuck the I word.

FuCk ThE I WoRd!!!

Down with InDiViDuAlItY!!!

Oh Crestview, how I love thee, let me count the ways on all two fingers... and we know just what two fingers we can count with.

Fuck this shit, fuck em'!

Fuck this shit, man, fuck this shit!!!

Journalists, Dont Make Me Laugh...

2005-02-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

DdDearest W.V.,

Yr a terrible fucking journalist and why they pay you to be one Ill never know. They should pay you to be a story teller, and an easywayouter. Someone who wont go the distance to find REAL meaningful people who could actually put you on the map. But thats ok, thats quite ok, thats why Im the rich artist and yr a local paper shmuck. No no, its ok. I take that all back. Its not yr fault, its a local paper, its not a high profile reading, and I doubt they pay you to act like a real high profile journalist... like I said, most of the people that read the NWFL Daily use it to line dog shitters and bird's crappers.
...AaAnd besides, a real fucking journalist would go the distance, and you, well, didnt.
Oh well for you. Im rich, yr probably not.
Oh well...
Yr pally, The Blue Rhino

Smile! ;)

A Superior Day...

2005-01-28T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well folks, its been a superiorly swell day here in ole' Cview. Its cold, as hell should be, and its dark, as hell should be, and its been weird today, as, well, you know.
Id like to take a quick sec and thank Jay's Car Audio for his awesome service in selling me The Blue Bus's awesomly neato right on-ed Sony. Jay, I think everybody should buy and endorse you, why, because yr quite Da Man.

!!!JCA ROCKZ!!!

On that note, jeez, how many speakers do you think Ill blow out on the first ride to Destin? Shit, Labambas? NONE I hope, N, O, N, E!!! The Led Zeppelin is rocking the truck and The Eagles Of Death Metal are not too far behind. This is the perfecto weather for causing a lil bit of chaos in Mart's Wal. But, but I think Ill hit the artwork up for a bit.
Not many complaints or rants today, but I feel this Tsunami Bullfuckinshit will have it round here. I can feel it creeping up like the first swoosh of a Shroom Session. I can feel it. I have to restrain myself, as I do not currently hold top bill on einsteinshrugged.co.uk under the gonzobeatezine section. Im sure the lovly will be posted on there next week.
I also want to take a second to say to Wendy Victora of the NWFL Daily News, thanks for nothing. Yr not much of a journalist to out and get an interview from one of Crestview's most soughtafter infamous celebs. Good for you for not being much. Good for you. But thats ok...

Remember kids, you can find me on the chocolateeasterjesus.blogspot.com website every once and a while...

I know theres a lot of shamless plugs here this evening, but what else can you do when yr The Blue fucking Rhinoceri?

No Longer Norrrmaaalll...

2005-01-27T00:50:00.000-08:00

Rightly said bucko, rightly said. Well, whats normal? Tell me exactly what normal is. The rest of the USA? Is that whats considered normal these days? Fuck I hope not.

Godawful, Loathable Things...

2005-01-24T17:46:00.000-08:00

Ok, Im trying very, very hard to create the wordage here, but trying hard enough is difficult. The Blue Rhino and His lawyer, are coming to attack...

No, Striptease Is Not My Favorite Demi Moore Movie, Why Do You Ask?...

2005-01-21T20:04:00.000-08:00

Well, its late in the evening and sometimes its good to have these oppertunities to get up on here and spot at the trap door about all sorts of life enlightening things. This evening some harrowing things have been brought before and I dont know where to start. I know someone up stairs is possibly watching and I dont know quite what to say right now. Should I be happy, should I be disgusting? Angry? I dunno. I spent the better part of my day being my wonderful ole charming Blue Rhino self. I did however bomb 6 bucks on a crappy buffet at Hideaway Pizza. Now, dont get me wrong, Im sure they have their good days like every other buffet joint, but, this was bad, no variety, no variety. No sirs, I didnt like it. Yeah, great. Well, Im figuring I should get off my ass and do some long awaited Blue Rhino artwork. Fartwork? No, thats tomorrow.
Caio.

Golden Globbed Blue Rhino...

2005-01-13T19:00:00.000-08:00

Where in the fuck have you been for the past 22 days??!!

And the Golden Globe for Most Fucked Up Artist In A Local In The Ass End Of The Middle Of Nowhere goes to... (drum roll)... THE BLUE RHINO!...
Oh, uh, unfortunatly he couldnt be here tonight to recieve this award, hes too f***ing busy getting loaded in the backstage area. Good job Blue Rhino, you must be proud of yrself. I think you should do yrself a favor and disafuckingppear!

Commercial break: Hey kids, want to be born again? Sure! Sure you do, let yr eyes bleed. Lehm' bleed, bleed!

Thank you for the bottle full of bayer, its helping me out very finely. Thank you also, for the bottle of Stacker 2. A good handful of those and the lords shines down her sweet rays. Thank you for the bottle of Absolute. Somewhere in times Ill cry you enough tears to fill up a toilet bowl and Ill hold yr hair as you fowl in the water.
Isnt it a lovly fucked up night this evening? The rain pours, the fog creeps in. Such a sweet evening of Crestview's finest depravity.

Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas and Happy Holidays...

2004-12-22T13:44:00.000-08:00

From all one of us here at Camp Blue Rhino, all of the above! Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, and lest we forget, Kickin' Kwanza!!!

And, AND, I hope all ya'll had a rockin' Hanu... Hana... Festival Of Lights!!!

In the next year look for comments on art, writing, Dimebag's murder, chocolateeasterjesus.blogspot.com, poop, Sanford products and Sharpie markers, musttipcow.blogspot.com, PoLiTiCs, einsteinshrugged.co.uk, and whatever, wherever else I may drop my seed, I mean, verbal diareah, I MEAN, laxative induced wordage, I REALLY MEAN, oh yes, fine and refined pearls of wisdom done Blue Rhino style, as only the grRreat one and only Blue Rhino can speak them.

2005 is gonna cum alive bitches!!

Who then now!!??

Now, lets go get wasted!!!

Yr pal,
The Blue Rhino

Dont Pick On The Models...

2004-12-15T10:36:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this crap? Fuck the Japenese and what they think art is. These fucking idiots and their idiot metroplolitan shit smears! It looks like they dunked their head in a bin of Angel Dust and downed a case of Cover Girl and shit on these women's faces and called it art...

This reminds me of an episode of my childhood... wWwhen I was little, I had a dog that ate up a small box of my Crayola crayons, and hours later I followed him when he went outside to shit, he shit out turds that where flecked with colors. Ah, there my are my crayons!

Fuck these people, and I hope Tyra Banks gets hit by a bus. This is crap, this is exploitation, who in their rightmind would sit and watch this shit? Ok, maybe not exploitation, I seem to be using that word a lot latly for no justified reason at all. America's Top Model, I say Amerrrica's Bullshit Art Glam. Gah, what crap.

Go Norelle!!! If not, hey, theres always porn. Oh that was harsh. My apologies, go Norelle!!!

See You Later Senor Dimebag...

2004-12-09T14:46:00.000-08:00

Dimebag Darrell as you all know, oh fuck it, im too choked over this shit to post a respectable post. Just too fucking emotional. Damageplan was a good fucking band, Pantera was king, but we all gotta move on, and Damage was the right thing to do it. Fuckin B, man, fuck!!!

!!! !! !!!!

A Couple Of Minutes To Piddle...

2004-12-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

First off, its official, TK101 in Pensacola FL can suck my nuts!!! Why oh why, lord, does this radio station suck?? Is it because theyre all angry cause theyre voices sound so much better than the bodies theyre comin' out of? High and mighty nothings?

Now, 99 RoCk in FT Walton Beach, Florida, now theres a fucking radio station!!! !! !!!! Oh, why not, heres some ones, 111 11 1111.

Well, looks like today folks is another high speed burn on the streets of Northwest Florida. Mmmmm, so cant wait. I love traveling for so little reasons. Cant wait. So, where to? Niceville. My old sunglasses need a tune up, and thank fuck Im not paying for it. I have to be honest, its forcast looks like its going to be expensive, and messy. All I want for Christmas is a fucking CD player for the Blue Bus. Fuck you Santa! I fucked yr wife way before you did. Shit, that was bad. That was really bad. I can believe I fucking typed that. That was horrible.
Or, was it...

Well, Im suited up, now Im ready for take off. Gimme my close up Senor Deville, gimme it now. More than ready. Viola!

A Rant From The Insider's Club...

2004-12-02T13:10:00.000-08:00

Well, I think this fucking Roomba thing is piece of shit. Jeez, was that as hard as it sounded? Yeahp, I think it was. Its one of those slightly uneasy days here in the big shitty. A couple of let downs here and there, the only let up is the fact that I dont give a damn. I mean, I didnt give a damn before, or a fuck, but now, right now, NOW, I dont give a damn. You people, yeahp, y'know who're you are, wanted an artist, you got one, and now you fuckers dont know what the hell with him now that you got im'. Well, too fuckin bad huh.
Art goes and it goes and it goes and it goes, and then one time when you really need it to go, it dont go. Then, when it dont go, I find myself in front of the wire box typing in to the ether. I mean, nothin wrong with it, fuck you Blue, stop explaining yrself to all these people. They dont want to hear you loathe and lament!! Fuck, type, be angry, be merry. AND, dont fucking call that radio station again!! Who the fuck are you to annoy such people??!! Huh, just who in the fucking heaven are you to bother people that dont deserve to be bothered!!?? You got no right bothering people that dont need to be bothered. They sure as heaven dont want to hear from you anyway. Its the same old shit with you, my man. Blah blah, loathing, blah, self doubt, and if I where the English Master, I would make self doubt one word, like this, selfdoubt. Heh heh. I come in to yr house......... No, turn down the (HeD). No need for violence this early in the day. Its only 12. Go watch All My Children or something. Yeah, go yell at those people and say if I where a character on there Id take my money and run. Run, run far way. Back in to that fuckin Desert where I belong. Yeahp.
Ok, now to find my shoes...

Out There In Those Woods...

2004-11-30T08:32:00.000-08:00

Yeahp, thats where it all happened oh so long ago. Out there in the thick green, down those idiot dirt roads twisting and turning around, out there in those woods, thats where chop shop horrors happened. Wasnt great for those who know? Didnt it mean so much more than it actually did, or, let itself on to be. Oh, what wonders, what gory fucking wonders!
Past the forrest and the treeline, there was the beach...

The Titanium Is Too Bright This Morning...

2004-11-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

And now for the chapter on vivid deepness...

ThE BlUe rHiNo
says this...
Never forget just where in the fuck you come from. Never ever forget the pain that bred the manster you are today. Be the prophet thats controled by red, white and pink that many of the clutches has you by. You know you couldnt escape, no matter how up to light you bring yrself and no matter how much titaniumly zero point five you dish out on to the ugly white speaking about fears and loathes, youll not see worse, than... Loose in the land. Jesus god, how long, how fucking long? Well, it doesnt matter cause the man to my left who prefers to write here forever and take long walks along rained glistened streets. A head up high and fists clentched tight. Eyes wide open viewing on to the long awaited destruction. With the right amount of fuel, one can walk anywhere. All day, all night long. Lay back in to the habit, coast along the waves of excesses of being a man. I unleash excellence and utmost highly esteemed deparavity. Bathe now in the fury. Just taketh a hold on the virginal flesh. Long live the...

I dont need to write my old shit, do I? Fuck no.

Thoughts From The Tanned Sea

2004-11-23T06:18:00.000-08:00

I was some where in the heart of the ass end of the middle of nowhere when the grapes and shrub started to take a hold. I was in the Blue Bus screaming across the big shitty when all of a sudden, I paused, and said to myself, 'hmm'. I turned on the delusions of gradure and pressed on the gas, the truck moved from 35 to 50 in a matter of split seconds. Shit, its fucking hot in here. I moved for a cigarette and lit up a Dunhill with a cheap Bic while trying to keep the bus in lighting fast speed. The fuck am I going? Oh yeah, I dunno. One of those before noons where I have somewhere to go, but I have no idea where. I found myself, but, then again I lost myself.

Some people live for a fight. Some people sit with their thumbs up their asses and get great kicks outta it. The sit with their fleshy nubs, waiting for one to come around a corner. See, I dont really give a shit if life throws me one. These 3am uglinesses and those 3 in the morninged business operationed hours when you taste so good and smell so good, rock the fucking heart out so god damned good. So strung out so good... We've, Ive, all felt the change in me... Detatchment is a gift.

Pushing the button doesnt bring forth a down side. Ive had, and saw every second of my heart being ripped out, Ive seen what I have known.
Thank you, what the fuck am I talking about this time?

Theres a button down deep inside... blah blah blah.

Life is kike a greasy, sweaty, biggoted, racist New Mexican sitting next to you on the tanned sea with a CD player and a pen & paper in front of yr squinted eyes because that beast has either a 44 or a 357 pointed to the left of yr brain screaming 'DRAW GRINGO! DRAW!! NOW!!!'.

So, what is tonight. On an average charcoal January 8th. What the, is, hell's time? 2:20am. Black lit again, thinking by that idiot purple light. I was at the boonies, I shoulda kept residing there, but I dont have a head on my shoulders, nor a heart that works right, I was there for two weeks before I started feeling the ground move. My head felt empty and ugly. I resided in the boonies. I resided in the darkside.
Very little effect on me, if, any at all.

$$$ $$ $$$$

And now for the chapter on vivid deepness...

ThE BlUe rHiNo
says this...
Never forget just where in the fuck you come from. Never ever forget the pain that bred the manster you are today. Be the prophet thats controled by red, white and pink that many of the clutches has you by. You know you couldnt escape, no matter how up to light you bring yrself and no matter how much titaniumly zero point five

The Blue Rhino, Any Comments?...

2004-11-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

I have a lot to report, General...
Do you, Captain?
Yeahp, I do...

Nooze...

2004-11-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

Well, heres some random thoughts for a mildly hectic Wed!

Ashlee Simpson sucks and so do the people that listen to her!!

99 Rock in Ft Walton, Florida is the best fucking radio station in the whole state!! Try to beat them, go ahead, try it...

The mall, is not fun.

I love Destin and all the people that reside there.

I like to crap my pants, and yr just jealous cause you cant crap em' on command like me. Ugh. Theres a good size load.

Cox Communications, please hire me as a talent.

Wal Mart, Id like to be a warehouse drone. I mean that in the most sincerest way possible.

Why are all the galleries that would probably sponsor me in Panama City Beach??!!

Jimmy Dean products cause severe anal leakage.

So does Hot Topic.

Timberland needs more button up shirts. No, the clothing company not the rapper!

Im The Blue Rhino. Oh yeah, you already knew that.

Strong Xander, strong Xander.

I myself have defecated in to a cantaloupe. Theres nothing really wrong with it.

To clear up the rumors out there, I am NOT running for Govenor of this state. Maybe in New Mexico, but not Florida.

This state looks like a limp penis.

Jesus, did I just type that?

Oh hell, I did.

Its almost ten, time to start having some phone fun!

Caio,
TbR

Nine Eleven and A Half?...

2004-11-11T19:09:00.000-08:00

Ok, before I start this flow of wisdomed pearls, I have to state I am adecent fan of Michael Moore. Not a big fan, not a huge fan, a decent fan.

I heard on yahoo a few minutes ago that good ole man of the land, Michael Moore, is planning a sequal, through Harve Weinstein and Miramax, to Farenheit 9/11. Ok, and? Exactly! Big fucking deal.
Look, the child like emperor is in office, can we change that, fuck no. But can we bitch about it, yeah sure, why not. But, when '1/2' is released, will we care, fuck no again. Georgy will be almost outta office then and wholl still give a shit about 9/11. I know that sounds as bad as it did, trust me, I know, but honestly, will that matter in 4 years? Will the same fuck head part of this country who voted for Bush care, fuck no! He'll fuck this country up in the next four years im sure by then this country will take it for bottom dollar and say, fuck, anybody is better than dippy shitty we go right now. Can you say Dean? Howard Dean?
Lets face it, Senor Moore, its not gonna matter, but hey, my man, yr in Hollywood, thats yr job to waste millions and millions of dollars on bull fuck pictures. We see them all the time, but my man, if yr still going to be bitching about boy george in 2008, well, go right ahead, knock yr socks off with a capitol K. You might as well. Hes what, the last stupid white man you can actually remotly think of attempting to piss off while still making a straight face.
My advice, lets knock off some pounds, hey, thats not a slam, thats some friendly advice from a true fan. Yr looking kinda pasty, my man, not good for the vessels.

And, off subject now, stop trying to analyze John Kerry's defeat. He layed down for Bush, get over it. He coulda waited to see if he lost Ohio rather than calling it quits before he actually did lose it. Fuck. Whada mess. Whada fuckin mess.

The Blue Rhino Vs Senorita Brainiac...

2004-11-11T10:32:00.000-08:00

The Blue Rhino, TBR: Good day to you, I posted some angry batches of words on the site, go look at them goddamn it
Senorita Einy, SE : oh hey yeah I was gonna email you to see if you would mind if I used the rant you posted tot he group, great stuff that
TBR: thank you, thank you, a while back i did A Plug For The Deaf, which was a piece for yr group and yesterday i went off on the election, Four More Fears
SE: great shit - there's something rotting in your head and I love when you sahre it
TBR: yeah, ive been getting that a lot latly, people have been flooding my yawhore account with emails
SE: I bet - it's great stuff and people will definitely react to it
TBR: i know, they have to, its pissed off a lot of Bush zealots already
SE: I fucking bet!
TBR: i mean, im not a political person, i never like that kind of shit on my site, but, it just got to me, i was, WAS, a strong Kerry fan, a huge fan, but, when he threw in that fucking towel yesterday, jesus fucking chirst, Bush must be thanking god right now, and believing that what the fuck ever is up there put him in that white house again, its all going to get religious, just watch and see
SE: I don't doubt it - hell, it's already religious. Bush talks to God and that ain't right
TBR: the Jewsih mafia will take to the streets crying Never Again!!
SE:
TBR: thats right he does, hell fucking let him talk to god, aint no one want to hear what he says anyway, and dont say his 'fans' do, becuase theyre puppets on his string, and they dont fucking count
SE: amen brothah!
TBR: heh heh, you know what the most hardcore label is in this country right now
SE: whazzat?
TBR: Angry Jewish Americans, 'you cant stop those fuckers, theyll Lee Harvey Oswald and Osama Bin Laden everything in their paths to get what the want
SE: Do the Jews scare you?
TBR: Nope, cause thank whatever, I am one!
SE: you're jewish?
TBR: Im one of the Angry Jewish Americans, yessiam!Do I uphold anything, fuck no
SE: So are you going to go nuts too?
TBR: well, going and have gone are actually do different things, muh lady
SE: good point ;p
TBR: yep yep, I seem to be making a lot of those latly, bout time too
SE: you're definitely on a roll
TBR: more than likly I will edit out the names of this conversation and post it on my site if its alright with you
SE: yeah sure, dude, whatever. You don;t even have to edit out my name if you don't feel like it. I say it loud and proud !!!I ENDORSE THE BLUE RHINO!!!
TBR: well, its to keep people from iming you and me too... im well known and if i can keep the fanbase to a minimum
SE: Gawd, someone IMed me the other day and wanted to know if I'd smoke rock with them.
TBR: well thank you for yr endorsment, those are always appreciated, well, im sorry, i dont smoke rock, the Ganj, sure, but rock, oh no
SE: me neither. Rock is one of those drugs that I just don't understand
TBR: i dont understand half of of them, i mean booze and herb, of course, but all that other first class drug shit, i dont get it, i think its just an excuse for people to actually have an excuse not to do something or whatever, sure depression is one thing, but getting locked in to a, serious is to serious a word, so, ill say cartoonish, cartoonish drug problem is just ignorant and silly and not very professional
SE: fuck yeah - crack just makes people jittery and lose their teeth - where, exactly, is the attraction there?
TBR: i mean, you can bring up people like Thompson and Mailer and Wolfe, but you didnt see them carrying around needles of heroin and rock cocaine or burners and spoons
SE: No, leave that to the likes of Burroughs
TBR: exactly, the only heroin addiction ive ever condoned was Jimmy Page, but, you see where that got him
SE: Not to mention Keith Richards
TBR: well, look at the difference between the two
SE: and, really, let's be honest, when slebs get off the shit they're far less interesting. Courtney Love - Drugs = Boring Slapper
TBR: Richards was a junkie and Page was a goddamned Knight, exactly, I think if theyre doing it now, in this society they should be put to sleep for their own good
SE: Well, unless they're entertaining the rest of us. Maybe we should just put them in a zoo
TBR: i mean, i saw say the same about myself sometimes dont get me wrong, but those fuckers that have millions and millions of dollars, not to mention fucking families, they should just be put to sleep if theyre going to pull that shit
SE: I'd rther spend energy on putting the religious right to sleep but maybe that's just me
TBR: heh heh heh , good luck, the drug issues will be solved before they even touch religion, especially now!
SE: yeah, but I can dream can't I?
TBR: oh of course, of course, go right on ahead
SE: Many thanks.
TBR: chavelcome
SE: Okay, I'm off to get some work done - good chatting with you and thanks again for the rant, GREAT shit!
TBR: yr welcome, use whatever you want on the site
SE: Thanks dude!!!
TBR: welcome, welcome

The Blue Rhino Vs Senorita Fourhundred Twenty...

2004-11-11T10:28:00.000-08:00

The Blue Rhino, TBR: whats up
Senorita 420, Senorita Green, SG: Hello!
TBR: how goes it
SG: good, today
TBR: thats good to hear, i always feel bad when yr not havin a good day
SG: I've had the WORST couple of months ever...but then just had the BEST week, so..yeah, I'm just enjoying it
TBR: right on righ on, bask in it, feel like a woman
SG: A bottle of absinthe on halloween, Manson concert night before last, and just got home from the rockies last night
TBR: there you go! Lest We Forget is great, I got the import of Personal Jesus and they kick ass
SG: yes, yes...I love that too, I got the dvd with the banned (s)AINT video
TBR: yep yep, couldnt buy it without the dvd! I ordered the This Is The New Shit import with the extra track s and behind the scenes stuff, im looking forward to it
SG: Oh that would be awesome!
TBR: ive honestly been getting deep in to his imported stuff, oh it is
SG: I saw him in Denver wednesday
TBR: i wanted the import of Golden Age, but the New Shit was cheaper
SG: it was great...did all of his Columbine songs
TBR: buuuuuuuuut, i did get the import of Holywood with the extra tracks, thats a damn jewel if you ask me
BUZZ!!!
SG: ! Hell yes it is!
TBR: im here yo, heh heh
SG: I know, I couldn't help that
TBR: ive got quite the collection, heh heh, i didnt mind that, i love the shock treatment
TBR: new stuff up at the site, thebluerhino.blogspot.com
SG: cool, I will check it out!
TBR: might as well, good stuff happenin all around
SG: cool, that's good!
TBR: yes it is, ive become quite the music junkie
SG: best thing to be a junkie of
TBR: heh heh, i got the emotive cd yesterday, its a good disc
SG: Yes, it is great! I don't have it though...broke
TBR: i got 13th step too, but i had it burnt and i love it so much i want the actual cd. Im sorry
SG: yes, I have that one...saw them in concert in Dec.
TBR: right on, hey, you ever heard of Dream Theater?
SG: Yeah, well I never have any cd's because when I get any money at all I save it all for whatever concert road trip I can manage... dream theater...for some reason, I'm thinking I should know that, but I don't recall
TBR: well, there like heavy metal slash symphony, i hands down like them
SG: OH, ok, I think I know what you're talking about now...heard just one or two tracks
TBR: cannibal corpse, hahahahahaha, cool, i like em
SG: seen them
TBR: ive been getting in to the desert bands like adema, dope, motograter
SG: Cool, I like them
BUZZ!!!
SG: I am pretty into SFU, too...had a little "thing" with the guitar player once,
TBR: ah hahahahahaha
SG: and I love chris barnes
TBR: right on
SG: OOH, abuzz I can catch
TBR: cool cool, heh heh heh , i got pint cans of steel reserve, high gravity love, heh heh
its419wheresthegreen: It's $1 pitcher night at the pool hall...and mike massey is going to be there!
TBR: heh heh, right on, hey i might as well ask, forgive me, whatdya think of Korns new shit, them two goofy covers
SG: well, I've just heard the cameo cover, and I didn't like it much, but I never liked that song 20 some years ago
TBR: heh heh heh heh heh heh, good answer, gooooood answer
SG: what is the other one?
TBR: pink floyds the wall, i dont care for it
SG: Oh shit, I've been told that, and I said I didn't want to hear it
TBR: theyve just hit a dry spell, what else is there to be mad at right, hell, they might as well go political
SG: yeah, good point
TBR: might as well, huh, heh heh heh
SG: everybody else has...but
TBR: well, it wouldnt matter now
SG: that's not bad, as long as they know what they're talking about
TBR: ive been getting so sloshed just hoping, just hoping that its all a nightmare
SG: so many people are so influenced by music...political music really could be the thing to change things... shit I sound like a hippie
TBR: hell, i put out a rant on what i thought about this celebs for demo repubs
SG: I refused to watch any election coverage...as a matter of fact, I didn't even know what happened until
TBR: i could go on, but its on the site, you didnt miss much lady, fuck no
SG: I was driving in the middle of colorado trying to find a radio station
TBR: heh heh heh, politics in colorado are bad news
SG: Well, I figured I voted, I could do no more, and freaking out and getting upset about the coverage wasn't going to help, so I ignored it
TBR: I saw an ozzfest out there in denver two years ago, bad juju in the world of political aspects out there, course, I lived in new mex at the time and wasnt quite politically correct out there heh heh heh. Exactly. You voted, so you can judge. I voted so I can judge
SG: yep
TBR: exactamunda!
SG: I really don't know about CO's politics, but I know they're not too keen on Manson
TBR: cradle of filth kicks ass!
SG: Saw them at christmas, the day before APC, partied backstage with them!
TBR: well of course not, that fucking state STILL, still, blames old brian for the columbine bull, right on, you lil groupie
SG: yeah, he had some death threats, and he talked about columbine, did all of his columbine songs...the people seemed alright.
TBR: hey, in this country, right now, you gotta ride whatever you got
SG: He made a special shirt for Denver with a copy of "Crop Failure" on the front
TBR: im telling you, he might as well become a martyr for the freak power
SG: ha ha, groupie
TBR: heh heh, you just got to ride out whatever you got and milk that bitch dry! awwwwww, yr cute when you blush
SG: ...
TBR: heh heh heh, i love the deftones cover of duran duran's chauffer
SG: I don't think I've heard that one
TBR: i can not and never will be able to get that shit outta my head, oooooh, its superb
SG: cool, I need to hear it then!
TBR: yes you do, im sure theres a lot yr precious lil ears need to hear
SG: Yes, I know there is, I've started playing guitar, and have been just listening to the same songs over and over and over trying to learn some
TBR: the end of the song when it peaks, if yr in the right stage of mind itll thrust you in to oblivion with the biggest smile, thats how it goes
SG: sounds good!
TBR: all my friends are musicians and thats how they do it, but they right their own tracks... .. ....the american dream is innevitably right around the corner
SG: Someday I'll write my own stuff...I have to learn how to play first, though, I just started about 2 months ago, and don't have a whole lot of time
TBR: right on, right on, sorry, i had to inject myself with a lil life, whew
SG: good choice
TBR: sooo, yr name is ******* eh
SG: yep, ****
TBR: heh heh
SG: no more music?
TBR: im connecting, takes me a few seconds
SG: ah
TBR: theres so much shit on this pc
SG: Even better!
TBR: ittakes a few secs to load
SG: Skinny puppy playing in denver tonight...but I already drove the 6 hours home...no more money
TBR: right on, yr in colorado huh
SG: No, Nebraska
TBR: oh, thats close to colorado?
SG: I actually gave up Ministry, Skinny Puppy, Cradle of Filth, Slayer, and a couple of others for Manson... Nebraska is right next to colorado, between colorado and missouri
TBR: hey now, Manson is the shit, you cant go wrong with that choice... oh, ok, right on
SG: yeah, it was my 5th time
TBR: i havnt been out there in years
SG: u made me want to hear that
TBR: i got almost, i bet, all his old shit on disc, all that Manson & the spooky kids... PROBOT!!! Rock on sista!!! Yr the shit chicky, the perfecto grrrly
SG: ooh, I have to listen to yours
TBR: heh heh
SG: Unfortunately, the perfect girl is sitting in the middle of nebraska, lonely as fuck with all the redneck dirtbag republican losers
TBR: me and that spooky kids stuff go back a loooooooong time and have a fuck of a history
SG: I'll bet...you're in florida...did you ever see them back then?
TBR: no, they where before my time, but ive got it all, and met a close friend of brians and jordies, well, you should give me yr address and ill send you stuff, just like i do everybody else
SG: really? what kind of stuff
TBR: artwork, drunken literature, messed up stuff from the imperfect guy in nwfl, just cool shit to keep yr spirits moving
SG: that sounds great
TBR: and a smile on yr face, hey, it is, thats how i make the money
SG: i can always use that...it really has been the worst couple of months ever
TBR: my mind is a terrible thing to get wasted to, im telling you, i make the faces that makes lil kids and adults cry, heh heh
SG: cool! Got a pen? lol
TBR: oooh, more than cool woman, of course, god, thats my favorite name for a woman!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, my favorite
SG: The love of my life was a ****
TBR: the best ones are named *******
SG: yep
TBR: hell, wasnt michael an angel and next in line for a god
mps_316: heh heh
mps_316: okie dokie
mps_316: youll get something in the mail in about a week
SG: that would be cool
TBR: ooooh, ity will be
SG: I'm sure I'll enjoy whatever it may be, b, sorry, oops,
TBR: it, will, bbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
SG: If I took this cigarette and put it out on you...
TBR: oooooh, you know i like it rough, whatever you may say, whatre you smoking?
SG: I love acid bath
TBR: i love slayer and static x
SG: Actually, today I'm smoking Pall Malls because I'm broke, but I'm a Marlboro red girl
TBR: oooh marl red, shit, you crazy *****, with an N, bitch, heh heh heh
SG: My best friend has a son named Dax, and the song I'm working so hard on is New Death Sensation Crazy? they're real cigarettes! ha ha
TBR: ah, gah, heh heh , oh... another injection of life, ah, oh, feels good... ok, im good... alright, where were we, ah, ok, ah, black flag, i thought that sounded familiar
SG: yeah...what the hell
TBR: why not right
SG: oh, dr hook
TBR: heh heh
SG: I was trying to figure out what happened to my ears
TBR: you keep changing the muthafuckin music... how can i know whats inside yr head if you keepon a changin lady
SG: well, I'm listening to my radio station, and I'm skipping the stuff I don't want to listen to
TBR: gah, what a mess you are
SG: Wah
TBR: dont cry, theres no crying in shitball, theres no crying in shitball!!!
SG: I'm not crying, this is crying, WWWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
TBR: i love a league of their own, i wanna be Jimmy Dugan!!! I wanna be muhfuckin Jimmy Dugan!!!!!!!!!!! !!! !! !!!!
SG: ha ha
TBR: heh heh heh heh hehh heh heh heh heh oh heh heh hhe
SG: oops, now you're changing music
SG: i gotta go, the pc is runnin ugly, and i gotta put something of interest on my site, do tellers wanna know
SG: i've got some stuff to do myself. I'll talk to you again!

The Blue Rhino Vs Senorita Lou...

2004-11-11T10:19:00.000-08:00

The Blue Rhino, TBR,: good evening missy
Senorita Lou, SL: good evening sir
TBR: and howre you
SL: i'm okay, how are you
TBR: howre you this lovly evening of the damned and almost nine hour of the wretched, ah, yr ok, good, good, i am quite well, but a little uneasy, my bowels are acting up from too much cheese intake, go damn Pubelicks tempts me with fine Boars Head cheese, those bastards, thouse most foul fucks!!
SL: lol...that might be classified as tmi
TBR: dysentary, most definatly dysentary
SL: lol!
TBR: those France fucks!!
SL: lol, what does france have to do with it?
TBR: excuse me, i feel a number two coming
SL: lol, oh my gosh
TBR: before I run for the porcelin.... Boars Head is made by the French for Americans
SL: ah right, i knew that of course...i was just testing you
TBR: Only the French would lable a super market and sell exquisite food as the do Publix
SL: ah right
TBR: testing me, by god woman, im sitting here holding in what im sure is a fine and ugly case of dysentaried diarreaha and yr testing me?!
SL: thats right
TBR: what kind of unholy bitch are you to take advatgae of a drunk like me??!!
SL: sha! I'm sweet as sugar
TBR: look here you advatage taking female... ADVANTAGE!!!
TBR: im going to spell that fucking word before i dash off!!!
TBR: advantage
TBR: fucking shit, i can barely control this fucking night ive seemed to grasp a hold of!!
SL: umm
TBR: ah, more James Beam and Ginger Beer, right now, ah... there it is, mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
SL: mm mmmm bitch
TBR: very nice, very nice... simmer down now bowels, simmer down, breathe deep, mmmmmmm, mmmmmmmmmmm
aaahhh, much better
SL: well...just how much of that cheese did you eat to make you sick?
TBR: not enough...
tbr: between my alcohol intake and food, its an honest wonder why havnt one of my vital systems havnt shut down
SL: wow, thats quite a wonder
TBR: we're telling we, arent we
SL: dammit fucking kazaa is a dirty, loose whore
TBR: I want to deperatly oreder a glass of ice water with ice, but, theres no waitress to be found, fucking shit, I hope I fired them all........
TBR:Kazaa, KAZAA??!! Do you know who the fuck yr talking to??!!!!
SL: sorry, where else can i steal music
TBR: I used to be a goddamned KING on that fucking pirate cavern!!!!!
SL: lol
TBR: I used to be A GOD on that shit, oooooooh, my life is driving me to drink... ... oh wait...
TBR: ahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha
TBR: is is *****, or *******, how do you pronounce it?
SL: um...i dunno, *****
SL: like ***** or *****, but it has a * dammit
TBR: Oh, *****, as in Casey Jones on Ninja Turltes, not *****, as in 'Ass Pounders Vol 43: ******'
SL : right
TBR: ah, thought so, you being a country woman and all
SL: damn skippy
TBR: i have a Jerk Russell named 'Skippy'. Only, I spell it' Skippie'... just to piss off the vets
SL: lol a la A Dog Named Skip?
SL: whats a good song to download?
TBR: anything by the Deftones!!! & Led Zeppelin!!!!!!!
SL: !!!!!!!
TBR: yes!!!!!!!!!!!, godamnit!!!
SL: lol
TBR Deftones and Led Zep
SL: sooo...kenny chesney
TBR: FUCK NO, STOP INBREEDING, STOP COUNTRY MUSICK!!!!!!!
SL: awww blue rhino
TBR: fuck no... except, well, make Shania and Tim Magraws wife Porn Stars, or, Playboy pictorialists
SL: you're such a guy
TBR: heh heh heh, I do try my best
SL: male chauvenist pig
TBR: ah hahaahahhahahahaha, that i am, that, i, am... but a good one at that
SL: there's no such thing as a good male chauvenist pig
TBR and im quite smarter and more fashionably loud than yr average MCP
SL: lol
TBR: nooooooooooooooo... that there is missy, that there is
SL: fashionably loud... but come on now...cowboy hats are sexy
TBR: well, yes, yes they are, only on certain people in certain parts of the country
SL: ooo! ooo! MEEEE!
TBR: I myself do not own one, but I do own a black tie and several Acapulco shirts
SL: and your leather pants
TBR: no, goddamned wretch!!!!, I dont own any leather fucking pants
SL: see...cowboy hat...leather pants..that'd make for a funfilled evening
SL: well...you should
TBR: so would whiskey and expensive condoms, but who the fuck am i to just judge like that, oh yeah, im The Bl...
SL: lol, expensive condoms, you crack me up
TBR: well, I am who I am, I dont type on that fuckhead of a site for nothing you know
SL: true, i guess somebody asked you to do something huh
TBR: how much do you weigh?
SL: like i'd ever tell you
TBR: well, id tell you
SL: cause you're a guy... thats classified information
TBR: yes, but im not that slim as youd think a thing like me would be
SL : lol
TBR: so, if I tell you, and yr horribly disgusted, then, well... come on now, give me a hint
SL: i won't be horribly disgusted, but why must you know this information
TBR: would a woman yr size look small in a mans size large t shirt?
SL: yup
TBR: a black size large mans t shirt
SL: yup
TBR: ah, good, so we're, im, typing about a womans size of, mmmmmmm, 100lbs?
SL : ha, no
TBR: to, 120?
SL: gettin warmer... but... i'm not saying
TBR: maybe, less than, 130?
SL: i'm no tiny thing, but i'm not fat, average, but curvy
TBR: ahhhhhhhh, good, cause I dont fucking trust a woman that doesnt eat
SL: no, i eat
TBR: ahhhh, good, good, good, I dont trust a bitch that doesnt go through a plate or two, no way no how
SL: well...not two, but one
TBR: but, yr full then
SL: yup
TBR: ah, good, well, fuck, I might as well tell you, im quite ripped right now, so if i say anything that offends, i wont mind if you disappear... and ripped is the beatnik fuckhead term for Dru...
SL: lol, drunk huh, so tell me some deep dark secrets
TBR dont you use that tone with me missy
SL: what tone? I ain't got no tone
TBR: you aint, ah, i love an averaged size woman... shit, the most important question, fuck please help me, yr white, arent you
SL: aaaayup, i'm hoping you are
TBR: good, good, sweet fuck, I was worrying myself
SL: you can't see my little chick?
TBR: oh shit, id kill myself if i wasnt
SL: lol, thats not very nice
TBR: yes i did, but, since we're who we are, i can use my tongue, ******* on this thing use what they can get their finger tips on
SL: lol!, damn blue rhino, been a while since i met somebody as evil as me
TBR: oooooooh, a fellow chucker, eh?
SL: oh yes
TBR: ooooooooooh
SL: but you can't say much anymore...somebody's gonna end up shooting you
TBR: fucking A, i think we're on to something, lemme tell you, ive been myself for 22 years in the most ungodly fucking states
my idols lasted plus years than me, and a fuck of a lot longer, so dont you dare go trying to change me
SL: i don't want to change you, i like you just the way you are
TBR: you saw on my site the last cunt that tryed to change me, though, heh heh heh, im in a fuck of a redeeming process right now, and heh heh, well, I, lose a lot of, sleep, over it, though I dont sleep...and woman, I dont mean states of mind, I meant states of this country
SL: i figured
TBR: i figure to, and it just gets worse, worse, worse, bettttttter, bettttttttttter, betttttttttttttteer, ahahahahahahahahahaha perfect
SL: drunk off your ass?
TBR: you know, that Koreapanese grrrl was the last woman to get this much off me!!! Yr lucky
SL: i feel sooo lucky
TBR: fuck, you better, im sure, if im coherent enough, ill copy this shit before either you or i call it quits tonight
SL: lol okay... sure wish i could be drunk
TBR: well shit, you can, just go out, i dunno bout now, but, just, spend 20 to 25 dollars on a bottle of something with class and go for it, wishing, my woman, is for the weak, action, now action is for the strong and open minded
SL: lol wishing, though, is also for the underaged
TBR: oooh, thats right, yr underage, well, shit, we should get together, id help you out
SL: lol thats what i like to hear
TBR: im telling you, if yr hours are between the morning and 5pm, id gladly help you
SL: awesome
TBR: Denny Crane
SL: i'm tons of fun when i'm under the influence
TBR: well... so am I
SL: i can tell
TBR: fuck, what color hair do you have??
SL: brown, brunettes have more fun
TBR: a red head is the fucking shit in bed
SL: what color hair do you have, sha
TBR: brown, and short, with patches of mold and fuck knows what the fuck is living up there, or, if anything up there, im sure its quite a waste land. But, you know, im sure a world of fuck shows up there under a smaorgasboard of lights, like UV and blacklight...
SL: you just haven't had a brunette yet
TBR: no, just dirty mexicans, im a beast
SL: lol
TBR: and i need my woman to be beasts... though, i have an affinty for blondes, and cheerleaders... id kill for them
SL: ouch blue rhino, now i feel bad
TBR: why
SL: you just don't like brunettes
TBR: did I say I didnt fucking like brunettes, i dont know what i like, woman, its not whats on the outside for me, just, whats on the inside, though, i am a Pro MCP
SL: lol, i think you just contradicted yourself
TBR: though, i dont really like the word PIG, MONSTER does it for me
SL: what color eyes do you have
TBR: brown
SL : YOU MONSTER
TBR: YOU BITCH
SL: WHATEVA, you know you like the bitches anyway
TBR: i mean it outta fun, ***, you know that....
SL: mmhmm
TBR: ooooooooooooooh, you got me
SL: you like a little rough treatment
TBR: the hell did you come from??!!
SL: lol, sorry
TBR: dont dare be sorry, sorry provokes change and I HATE change
SL: noted
TBR: good
SL: so, blue rhino...do you have a pic?
TBR: no
SL: bullshit
TBR: but, i can tell you what i look lile, easy, EASY
SL: hmm
TBR: 122 years old: A cross betweens the Deftones' Stephan Carpenter, Hunter S Thompson in his early thirties, and Jack Kerouac at age 47, the day he dies without all the blood.
SL: oookay
TBR: if yr smart, youd look them up and compare the photographia, buuuuuuuuuuuuut, im sure we'll meet, for you want alochol and i want a day off in the city from all this artwork
SL: hey i'm lookin em up
TBR: IMFUCKINGPRESSIVE
SL: lol that took me a minute, im-fucking-pressive, got it... I just can't picture a cross between those three guys... anyway, what are you doing now, blue rhino... HALLO !!!BUZZ!!!
TBR: look, i dont care if you cant picture it, uh, huh, ah, oh yes, im back, i had to fixeth myselfth anotheth drinketh, ahhhhhhhh... 3 parts whiskey and a half a part ginger beer... much better
SL: eww
TBR: eww, ewwwww??!!
SL: sorry...i can't handle the hard liquor
TBR: fuck you, who're you to judge me
SL: i'm not judging you, i'm judging your drink
TBR: well, point well taken, that was a hard hitting come back, good show woman, good show
SL: um...okay
TBR: most women would be like, well, wtf, and tell me to piss off, but you, stood on yr own two feets, quite lovly i think
SL: thank you, i don't take shit
TBR: very welcome, and i lust over that
SL: i do give you a bit of leeway, as you are intoxicated
TBR: weeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllll, lets not take my state of mind in to hand, for im always that way, youll see, sooon, quite soon, ill quote Jack Kerouac in my next Monstrofucksto and then we'll see how many people email or, call, or talk to me after that
SL: i'm not familiar with him, unfortunately. what does he say
TBR: well, he died in 1969, he drank himeslf to death until his liver shut down, and the day yr liver shuts down, nothing can help you, theres not enough blood or blood transfusions to save yr fucking life, but, he did set the standards for all of us wanting to be free, besides that lady Nelly Furtado and her sugar sweet voice singing Free Like Bird..., well, i wont tell you what Kerouac says, I dont give trade secrets away, but I will tell you this, and he didnt say it, Cut The Head Off And The Body Will Die
kasey_lou04 : hmm, i'm reading some qutes right now, interesting
TBR: who do you work for you wretch!!! No woman Ive met on here looks up things ive typed like you!!! You better not be a stalker!!!
SL: *evil giggle*
TBR: looka here, ive got the same lawyer as Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones, we'll fry you in dog grease and eat you for a mid days supper!
SL: yeah...well...your momma!
TBR: ive got the biggest smile on muh face, you have no idea
SL: oh good
TBR: you remember Muhanmmed Alis last fight?
SL: vaguely
TBR: He lost devastatingly to Larry Ohlmes, but, Ali still thought he could box, he thought he was still Muhammed fucking Ali. I feel like that now, by you and thats not something that happens to me
SL: is it a good thing?
TBR: it feels horribly bad, horribly, but, looks, so, soooooooo fucking, motherfucking good
SL: so bow down, blue rhino
TBR: that remark makes me think of a Korn track
SL: ah korn..i remember them
TBR: youve petrefied me, i hope i have the...... i have to get up, ah, my head. "sssssomething, something superfly, something I can take, reclaim my place"
SL: don't move too fast now, blue rhino...don't hurt yourself
TBR: im leaving, i have artwork to do, more drining and a night of debautchery, fuck you, who're you to judge me
SL: fuck you...who are you to say "fuck you" to me?
TBR: ... yr perfect, i love you
SL: lol, you're so dorky
TBR: fuck you
SL: i wouldn't give you the privilige
TBR: yeah right, dont lie, you know you would
SL: whatever
TBR: and youd ask for thirds and fourths
SL: YOU couldn't handle me
TBR: ho ho ho, i think its the other way around, do you know who the fuck yr talking to
SL: the blue fucking rhino?
TBR: yesssssssssss, can i help you
SL: prolly not, you don't have it in ya
TBR: for assistantance, please press one, for maitence, press two, for slave labor, please press three, for anal sex, press five, for gluttony, please press six... for swear words in spanish, press seven
SL: ooh ooh 7!
TBR: si, si, mi cahlmo es sete abro
SL: and that means
TBR: my cock in yr... uh, hahahahahahahaha. cambrahllo tiempte pacho: fisting is a verb
SL: is it now
TBR: puancho mierllmo titete: vagina is not a toy, hahahahahahahahaha
SL: just crack yourself up
TBR: ok, ok, enough with the foreplay, howre you tonight
SL: lovely...how are you
TBR: pretty invigorated yet im hot and sweating, its hot tonight
SL: oooh hot and sweaty
TBR: yeah, not one of my favoites without doing anything, uh, hahhah
SL: lol, yeeeaah
TBR: heh heh heh, yep
SL: youre dirty tonight, how much have you been drinking
TBR: none of yr business
SL: oh i see how it is
TBR: no you dont, yr goddamned drug and alcohol agent I knew it!!
SL: oh no you figured me out
TBR: i was on to you last night and im on to you tonight!
SL: ha, on to me? ME? i think not
TBR: goddamn it, i bet you have this fucking thing tapped!!
SL: tapped? No point in tapping, copy and paste, buddy
TBR: yr a stalker! I knew it, shit!! Goddamn it
SL: thats right, who the bitch now
TBR: fuck you, i have the same lawyers as Michael Douglas and Catherine Jones, we're taking you to Nims, yr General Choas Chicken, you!!
SL: oh noooooo, fuck you, sweetheart
TBR: dont you threaten me, we're the Mexican Mafia in this city, we'll eat you alive!
SL: so wait, you're mexican
TBR: no, im quite Amourican, but the people I choose to associate myself with are, and we'll make you lunch, and dinner, and depending on how much we're indulging in, you might be a lil breakfast, mmmmmmmm breakfast
SL: i'm just terrified, you can't see me but i'm shaking, *cries*
TBR: hell, id be to if some whacko was yelling at me like this, though, heh heh. Dont cry, theres no crying in gonzoism! No... no, yr the loooooooser, loser, hahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahahah
SL: dumbass
TBR: hahahahahahahahahahahaha, look at you, hahahahhaahahahaha, all blanks, hahahahahahahahahaha
SL: bitch, i will fuck you up
TBR: ahahahahahahhahahahaha, now where crackin, now where shakin, hahahahaha... well, hold on, you know what pisses me off!!??
SL: ?? WE'RE crackin and shakin you mean... what pisses you off
TBR: Miller Brewing Company went into the Tom Thumb by Airport road and raised those 99 cent double cans of Miller Highlife to a buck 20!!
SL: bastards
TBR: that pisses me the fuck off!!
SL: fucking bastards, but i don't drink beer, so its all good
TBR: oh, i raised hell this morning, i went in there around 10 to get my usual with a 3 fifteen for three of them, like i usually causaly do, and the bagger asked for 3.79, i was like what the fuckin shit! W hat kind of rat fuck bastardised shit is that? You know what thats going to do to people around here? Id like to see how those county workers are handling this. Id love to see riots in the streets and a band of angry cititzens in front of the Tom Thumb office with pitch forks and nines! Ah, the chaos, the humanity. Burn the fucker down. Fuck the chicken, give us the beer!!!
SL: thats pretty shitty
TBR: luckly the normal bagger was stockin shelves and told him to go ahead and give it to me, but, believe you me lady, I was pissed!!
SL: i can see that
TBR: what kinda of rat humped fucktadized shit is that??!!
SL: inflation's a bitch
TBR: no, theyre making those Miller Highlife regualrs go back to Icehouse 99 cent bottles
SL: ah
TBR: I dont care for Icehouse ive had my fill of that pig swill, but, its cheap, and i rather shell oit 99 for a bottle than 120
SL: poor thing
TBR: gamn right, ungodly fucknutted shit if you ask me
SL: shall i call the whambulance?
TBR: fuck you, i dont need yr shit you louse
SL: fuck you, i don't need yr shit either
TBR: yes you do, you love it, it makes you laugh
SL: occasionally
TBR: i love it, it makes me laugh to
SL: heh, yeah riiiiiiiight
TBR: you loooooooove it
SL: you don't know
TBR: heh heh heh, i told you so, hahahahahahahahaha, ok, well, im leaving, i have things to do
SL: you haven't posted in a while
TBR: so, ill do what I want to and when the fuck I please
SL: i was rather disappointed
TBR: i did today
SL: oh yeah, i think i read that
TBR: yes, well, fine, poopies, I live it, love it
SL: leave me a damn comment
TBR: hahahahhahaha, heres yr fucking comment: poopies

Names have been edited to protect the innocent, sure, we here at The Blue Rhino Casa De Sin say screw the innocent, but, this is the day and age of law suits!

The Blue Rhino Vs Lady Beth of Boleskine...

2004-11-11T08:23:00.000-08:00

The Blue Rhino, TBR: morning, and a good one at that
Lady Beth, LB: Afternoon, The Blue Rhino
TBR: and how goes it
LB: Okay dokey, fairly nice afternoon
TBR: afternoon huh, right on, its 9 20am right now here, Hey i want to thank you again for all you did for me
LB: 3.20pm here
TBR: wow, mazing... those cds where really the best thing anyones given me
LB: NP, glad you are enjoying them
TBR: more than enjoying them, !!!yr an awesome chick!!!
LB: Oh I know that! What one do you like most?
TBR: I think i like the Earls Court day five set
LB: 25 May? I was at that one
TBR: Ive seen the video from In My Time Of Dying on Launch.com, but to hear the whole show, man, thats just a trip and a half
LB: It was a great show. I saw Zep four times
TBR: i remember you tellin me that, i couldnt fathom it
LB: What could you not fathom?
TBR: i mean, ive seen the DVD, and a bootlegged copy of the Unledded Plant and Page, and Page and TBC, but, I couldnt fathom seeing them live
LB: Oh right, say P & P in Glasgow around 8 years ago
TBR: i know it musta been a totally exhilerating
LB: It was
TBR: that simply amazing
LB: Yes they were
TBR: you should right a small book about yr expiriences with seeing Led Zep and all
LB: I also knew Pagey when he was at Boleskine House
TBR: really, you knew him?
LB: Yes, but not on a Musical level on an Occult level
mps_316: wow, thats something awesome, I read he did a lot of that stuff, across the board type followings and reading, which means He read just about everything and anything
LB: Boleskine was Aleister Crowleys house
TBR: yeah i know. Man, that blows me away
LB: Creepy place
TBR: hell i bet! What kinda stuff did he actually do there?
LB: Crowley?
TBR: Page
LB: He had a load of Crowley writings, musings and paraphanalia. He practiced High Magic
TBR: wow, thats something else, whoa, so, like, what kinda stuff did he have? Like in terms of ritual things?
LB: Robes, staffs, books etc
TBR: and Im sure he practiced this stuff quite often. What was yr role in it?
LB: Watchtower
TBR: really, please explain
LB: A Watchtower calls in spirit Guardians to protect a certain aspect of a circle
TBR: very interesting
LB: Well it is to me
TBR: it is to me too, this is history!
LB: It is the Occult dear boy!
TBR: I really want to know so much more about what happened at that house with Page. Well, dear woman, im intrigued
LB: The place is hoochie as Crowley did not shut down a very powerful Ritual. The essence of it is still evident
TBR: And did Page do anything to make it right?
LB: No! Or not that I know of, so no would be unfair to him
TBR: really, so he didnt do anything to make it the Page house insted of the Crowley house, or did he feed off of what Crowley had left behind?
LB: I think he fed off of it
TBR: sounds logical. So the essence there now would be something ten fold on when Page moved in?
LB: Yes it was a powerful Rite
TBR: those sessions must have been earth shaking, between those rituals and Page's music
LB: Never heard Lucifer Rising? That was at Boleskine
TBR: No, I havnt. Would that primarily be the best explanation for my theory
LB: It was the Soundtrack for a Satanic Mover made by Kenneth Anger. He never used Pageys stuff but some ex Manson family nut ended up doing it. I will send you both versions as I have them
TBR: are there any Boleskine sessions on disc
LB: Yes, the Page version
TBR: ok
LB: Do you want copies?
TBR: so, there pretty long dics huh, im sure he took his time recording all his work in that house, eh?
LB: Only around 40 minutes
TBR: oh of course, Ill take whatever you can give, Mistress Beth, Im getting deeper and deeper in to this and I want to go as deep as I can. Ive spent many evenings trying to reach the highs in the music, ive accomplished some, but there is so much more. Oh, do you have Zoso and Houses outtakes and sessions?
LB: I shall send the discs plus the artwork as well as my Husbands Occult music, also I have Crowley on CD. I have quite a bit of outtake material. Want my list?
TBR: I think I have it somewhere, but im leaning towrd more of the sessions and outtakes that would fit the Occult stuff . The eerie 'why am i listening to this stuff' stuff
LB: LOL!
TBR: well anyway
LB: I have been into the Occult for over thirty years
TBR: I really want to get in to the Page Occult, I want to know and listen to what made him tick, what made him dark as dark could get
LB: Crowley screws with most peoples heads
TBR: I want to get as close to the darkside as I can possibly get, I mean, ive been there myself, im telling, ive been there, but I want to get as close and possibly to the edge... well, my heads pretty screwed, cant get much worse, and theres plenty of space for new material
LB: Watch what you are doing!
TBR: heh heh, I know, the warnings are all over these walls, heh heh, but, , you know
LB: Yes I do beleive me, not for the idle mind!
TBR: my mind isnt idle... im quite ready
LB: I do not mean that, be aware, be very aware when dealing with the Darkness
TBR: Ive spent many monthes out in the boonies, dealing with the most ungodly demon a man in the threshold of Pain could deal with, ive done it all to wash it away, ive tried so, so hard to escape the darkside, and in to the light, but, as i am the author of Prohetional and Professional Pain, you know, Ive always said, for people like me, we have VIP passes in He... well, you get the idea and i use typos like i use toilet paper, heh heh heh
LB: Yes I know all about what you are saying.
TBR: see, then why not, if ima gonna go, ima goin all the way! So, whats the darkest Page sessions or outtakes you got?
LB: Lucifer rising at Boleskine
TBR: are the Houses outtakes dark?
LB: Not really
TBR: what about the Cabala set?
LB: Some of it
TBR: hmm
LB: The name is darker than the music
TBR: mmm hmm... Stairway Sessions at Headley Grange?
TBR: no huh
LB: Good
TBR: Ah, dark huh
LB: Some of it
TBR: mmm hmm! Brutal Aritistry at Headley?
LB: Send an other batch of blanks and I shall do them for you... Brutal is excellent
TBR: mmm hmm... well, i seem to have quite a list going of daker than dark huh
LB: Yes you do!
TBR: Ill pick up a box of 30, will that do?
LB: Yes... Have you never seen the Illustrated Collectors guide to Led Zeppelin?
TBR: ok, itll take a while to get there, at least 4 to five weeks, but then itll be Winter, and thats when business really picks up around here, ummmmm, i saw it once a looooong time ago, but i dont own it, yet
LB: The latest version can be got on Amazon, a definite Tome for Zepophiles!
TBR: mmmm! Amazon is my new stomping ground as a matter of fact, heh heh
LB: I buy quite often from there and ebay
TBR: well, I shall send you a box sometime this week and hope it gets to you before the end of the century, heh heh
LB: Oh it shall and I shall put all the nice dark stuff down for you!
TBR: yes, yes, dark, dark, dark,
mistressbethuk2001 : LOL!
TBR: arent I cute, heh heh heh
LB: As I said I know all about the dark. Oh I am cute too!
TBR: well, i unfortunatly have to run, but look forward to my package!
LB: Okay bye for now
TBR: thank you for the info! L8er!
LB: NP

Out Through The In Door...

2004-11-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

Not many times through out the Net's world that Ill get like this, but just sometimes Damnation sounds pretty fuckin good. I mean, rrrrrrrrrrrrreal fuckin good.

News at ten...

The sound of wind blow hard, a soft musical vibe passes through the ears. Surreality is right around the corner.
I wish I knew how to play the piano because I honestly feel like playing a moon lit Sonata on one, but, I do know how to tpye so I guess my fingers will have to dance wildly amidst the General Electric afternoon day sun. Ballet or no ballet, tanned flesh will move without a care in the world, and not giving a damn, or shit, or fuck, because if they had all these they wouldnt know what each one was to give. Or, who to give them to. Wild days when the mind is free to rummage through cow pastures for no decent reason. The sun beats down by the heavens above and the wind blows through yr hair and over yr hands.

2wo Words...

2004-11-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

Wire cutters.

The two words scare me.

Not wrenches, not pliers, not wire cappers.

Wire cutters.

Four More Fears...

2004-11-03T09:37:00.000-08:00

Joseph Still said...
Dear Mr. Rhino
I have been a lnog time fan of yours.
Have you noticed GW's concern about how "stock-car dads" intended to vote this year? I saw a dumbass race car driver on speed TV, at a friends house, telling America to vote for good 'ol Wubya. He, of coarse, talked about how warm and honest 'ol Wubya seemed to be. He assured his legions of dim witted, drunken, asswipe dads that his vote belonged to GW. He followed it up by saying, "I'm not a big issue guy." (exact quote) I say vote for GW or vote for Kerry, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW WHY YOU ARE DOING SO. Otherwise you are fucking the system up for people who give a shit. I say we load these people up into their stupid little aluminum coffins and launch them into a concrete wall at 200 mph, fucking Dale Earndheart style. (yep, I said it) At least this way they are not crowding up the electoral system and shitting all over the election booths for no appearent reason.I propose an amendment for the next election that states that you can vote for whoever you want as long as you can provide a good explanation about why you vote for them. It's okay to vote for the wrong person, if you know why you are doing it.
Thank you
Joseph
10:05 PM

Well, my esteemed collegue Mr Still, you would think this wonderful country of ours would want a Stronger America, would need, would lust, but no, fuck no, not in this society. This fucking country would rather have 4 more years of this child like, shit ball, puppet fucking piece of shit president, and Im not even going to capitalize the fucking word anymore cause it doesnt mean dick right now, but fuck no, this piss poor country would rather have the shit storm that is the W office. 8 years of this shit!!! 8 fucking years!!! What the fuck has our country come to??!! Sure, it wont make any difference to me, sure, but you know what, its not going to make a bit of fucking difference to anybody, you know why, huh, do you, because there wont be a fucking country left!!! We're going to stay in Iraq and let more soldiers die for oil, OIL, where going to lose whatever substantial fraction of our economy we have left, fuck help me, yes Im going to say, I hope to fuck we get another terrorist attack so we can see what childrens book he reads next. I know exactly where Im going when I die so I dont give a flying momma fuck about what comes out now!
Its over, bubba, this country is fucking over.
No stem cells, no medicare reform, no drugs, no elderly, fuck the innocent, fuck the poor, taxes will go up like a fat motherfucker's cholestrol, who the fuck knows whatll happen to social security, when and if we can get to draw on it when the time comes, oh wait, there wont be any social security; rape the woman and female children, enslave the boys, kill the men!!! !! !!!! Rain shit storms and piss snow flakes!!! Let the ground open up and comsume this fuck head cunt fingering country!!! It doesnt matter anymore. It didnt matter in 2000 and it certainly as fuck doesnt matter now!
Rounds of blasphemy all day and all night long baby!!!
Good luck in 2008 Senor Dean. Howard Dean in 2008AD!!!

Oh, well, The Blue Rhino, are there any good things about last night?
Well, one, at least Nader wasnt the cause of this shit. Two, at least it wasnt Florida, ah huh huh huh.
I say, and I always will, and the god of fuck said and still says it too, lets just kill everybody and let yr gods sort them out.
Fuck it.

Chocolate Easter Jesus...

2004-11-02T15:15:00.000-08:00

Well, for every ass end of the middle of nowhere Propheteer there has to be a ass end of the middle of nowhere band, Chocolate Easter Jesus outta Northwest Florida. Check these crazy folks out. Do it.

http://chocolateeasterjesus.blogspot.com/

Chocolate Easter Jesus!!! !! !!!! Raaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!

Crock The Vote or Believe You Me...

2004-10-29T06:37:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok, this Rock The Vote, Vote Or Die, Celebrities For Demo Repubs have gotten so motherfucking outta hand!! Its mind boggling and its horse shit. Since so many artists have decided to throw their support behind either Bush or Kerry, I figured Id let you all in a lil secret or two. Or three. Or...

But I don't want to talk about the candidates. Fuck no, not here, bubba, what I want to talk about is, are the ArTiStS trying to influence the race.

And why you shouldn't fucking listen to them!

Ladies and gentlemen, don't let a rock star influence you in any way, especially when it comes to something like this! This is life and death, people. Dumb versus proud. This is The Race For The United States Of America's Presidentcy!!!

I mean, if you want to drink a certain kind of soft drink or wear a certain kinda clothing and, AND you allow yrself to be swayed by a celebrity endorsement, well that's pretty much kind of the idea.

However, this isn't choosing between a Coke® ana Pepsi®.

And one thing that you have to take into consideration is the following: Rock stars (or pop or rap or movie or whatever) don't give a damn about you!!! !! !!!!
Go ahead and read that again if you must. Go ahead.

These people don't have lives like yrs, they don't have worries like yrs, and they certainly don't have bank accounts like yrs.

In other words, ho ho, they ain't you.

They don't wait in line, they don't work 9-5, they don't sweat the mortgage… all the little, itsy bitsy teeny tiny ity bity things that consume and eat away alive at yr daily life, Hollywood stars really don't worry about that kinda shit. Ever.

So don't think for a moment that they are feeling yr pain when it comes to the economy or the war or anything, children.

And believe you me when I tell you this war hasn't put the slightest cramp in their style.

So, in closing, I leave you with this. If you cant make up yr mind and yr a small portion of the US thats walking around right now calling themselves 'Undecided', November Second Twothousand Four, go out to the polls with yr mind and vote. Yr stupid, stupid minds!!! !! !!!!

Caio,
TbR

A Night Of The Dead...

2004-10-28T19:34:00.000-07:00

Well, its the 28th and in respect of Night Of The Dead, I figured I might as well say something to you folks out there getting violent with my lack of posts. Sure, you guys agree in this society writing will get you know where and Art will lead you to light and outta darkness, but the fact of the matter is, well, let me explain...

Theres a full yellow moon out tonight. One of the prettiest moons Hellview has ever had, except for last night's main event, the lunar Eclipse. Didya see it last night? Oh it was beautiful. The moon's never looked so sexy, well, except for those Ass End of The Middle of Nowhere. But, thats another home grown batch of tales. But, last night's spectacle was to die for. Simply to die for. If I had seen that out in the boonies, well, Im sure something great woulda happened in the field of mind expansion. A lunar Eclipse is a great excuse to go and rip at yr mind. Couldnt be a better excuse. Oh, well, fuck, yes there can.

All Hallow's Eve! Oh yes, its that time of the year again when the ghosties and goblies come out from under the stairs and want to play. Oh yes, perfect time to load up on yr favorite booze, smokes, heh heh herb, and gobble down plenty of Hershey's and M&M Mar's products. Ooooooh, yes my fellow Darskide treaders, the night is upon us. So I urge you, and those lesbians I talked to last week, go out, and demand grrrrrreat entertainment! Go out and have a grand ole time! Walk with the dead, talk to em' to, they make sparkling conversationalists. Very sophisticated. Forget business for just one night and go out, and live it up wit' da Darkside!

Oh yeeeeahhhh!!!

Slunt's Tour Is Cummin Yr Way...

2004-10-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

The SLUNT tour has been awesome so far. We rocked the HELL outta Chicago, Kansas City, Houston & VoodooFest & now we're on our way back to the Northeast to rockit some more. Hope to see ya at a show soooon!

Here's what's next:

Chick's Rockfest / Red Tour :
Thursday, 10/21 - 11:30pm @ Maxwell's 1039 Washington St - Hoboken, NJ
Friday, 10/22 - 11:30pm @ Arlene's Grocery 95 Stanton Street - NYC
Saturday, 10/23 - 9pm @ Sky Bar 518 Somerville Ave. - Somerville, MA

w/ Blame Shift, Smear Campaign, Allison Tartalia, LP, & FLUTTR

http://www.slunt.net/

Not our way, but one day...

Whos Bamboo Is Alive?...

2004-10-20T19:32:00.000-07:00

I saw a girl in Milligan get shot in the face with a BB gun by her brother as she walked off of the school bus that dropped her off in front of her house. It was the goodamned funniest thing Ive seen in a long time. It was simply funny as hell! I couldnt stop myself from laughing at her. When I first heard her yell 'OWWW', I didnt see what she got hit with, but then, I saw the boy holding that gun, and it hit me like a ton of bricks, she got hit in the face! Gaaaah! Can you belive it??!! Oh that shit was great. It was so goddamned fucking funny! Oh geez. I wish I could see that scene again. Wait, wait, it just played again in my head. Ahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha!! Jesusfuckingchrist oh mighty! Ahahahahahhahahahahahhahaha!! Oh, oh man my side.

In other news today I saw one of my closest constituant's cat today. Ole Putty. My, I think he's gotten leaner. I never liked that cat, but I tolerate him, sometimes more than my own dogs. Those rat bastards! All they ever do is eat and fart. Oooh, I shouldnt be so mean to them, I look at myself sometimes and thats pretty much all I do to. Heh heh heh.

I also think The Christian Coalition is full of shit! I mean come on, getting mad at Winona Judd for performing on a lesbian's cruise ship, what, lesbians cant go on vacation, is that it? Is that it?? They cant go on vacation??!! I think if there is any group that needs a vacation is the homo population of this country. You dont like em', you dont want them marrin' one another and now, now, you dont want them to go on vacation with decent entertainment?! What the hell do you want them to do? Become shut ins and go psycho and start pickin' you fuckers off? Is that it? (!!!To all the lesbians that read my site, I urge you folks to go on a vacation and DEMAND great entertainment!!!)
I mean come the fuck on? You want to pick on somebody, pick on Scott Peterson for killin' his wife and unborn kid who was propelled outta' her while they where in that ocean. Get mad at Michael Jackson for touching lil' kids and paying off the parents. Get mad at that Hacking idiot that lied his ass off and killed & dumped his wife in a dumpster and was found in a fucking landfill! Be mad at Wayne Newton. Uh, heh heh... Buuuuut nooooooooo, you gotta pick on Ms Judd for singin' to some carpet munchers. You fuckers are so fulla shit! You know that?! But its understandable, what ole Marilyn did to you fuckers a few years back, Im sure if I was a dry bible humpin', church going waste of timer, id be mad to. Butcha know what? I aint! That shit was grrrrreat. That guy made me, and a swarm of kids, a lil of what we are today, and I hope to fuck He does it again ten fold you fuckers! Ahhahahahahahhahahaha!!

Yep, and I hope to fuck Senor Kerry gets elected President. I hope this wonderful state of ours doesnt fuck up like four years ago. Fuck help us.
Now you momma fuckers gotta a reason to yell!!...

A Day In The Big Shitty...

2004-10-20T19:31:00.000-07:00

A hell of a rainy day this afternoon, huh Crestuckians?

Wow, I just went over to LimpBizkit.com and ole Fredy Durst has a blog just like, man, his blog looks so familiar but I cant quite put whos it looks like. I just cant put one of my middle fingers down on the damn thing. Heh heh, it just looks soooooooooo familiar.

Aaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyywaaaaaaaaaay, to those who are inquiring off list about the Northwest Florida Mafia and how do you get in, yeah right like you could and we're that kinda collective that likes to take in new recruits. Well, if you must know, one, you have to be 100% Jewish. Not orthodox or conservative, REFORM! Two, Bar or Bahtmistvahz are a plus but not neccarily needed. Three, there is a huge initiation that involves knives, dramameen, and Jack Russell terriers. Oh yeah, and Wonka Bars.
And if you think yr a lil Jewish, heres what happens when you THINK
'Blue Rhino, Im a quarter Jewish, does that count?'
A quarter Jewish, are you fucking kidding me??!! Fuck NO you dont qualify!! Jesus, we'll come after you for that shit and we dont go all the way out to a desert, we go to Holt! You hear me?! HOLT! And we dont use bats either, fuck no, we use ballpean hammers and broomstick handles! Yeah, we like to try new things too, crowbars, mouse traps, and pliers!!
Ah, takes a deep breath, hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!Lahiyem.

Not too much going on in the land of art, I gotta tell you real quickly. Ive been too busy doing nothing and listening to bands like old school Danzig, Cradle of Filth and Dimmu Borgir. Not that Im a dark and scary person. Noooooooo way no how thank you very much. Just broading my horrizons. Expanding my music influences. Why not, right?

Slunts Hittin' The Road...

2004-10-11T10:36:00.000-07:00

SLUNT is hittin' the road to play some dates with Zeke & Fu Manchu, then end up in New Orleans to rock VoodooFest! So if yer somewhere near Chicago, Kansas City, Houston, New Orleans, Jersey, NYC or Boston... come get SLUNTed!!!
See dates below
oooooooooooorrrrrrr
check our website http://www.slunt.net/ for all the info! ****************

Tues, 10/12 (8:30pm) @ Double Door 1572 N. Milwaukee Ave. - Chicago, IL w/ Zeke, Filthy Jim & The Resinators

Wed, 10/13 (8:30pm) @ Davey's Uptown Ramblers Club 3402 Main Street - Kansas City, MI w/ Filthy Jim, Smashtones & Zeke

Fri, 10/15 (8pm) @ Engine Room 1515 Pease Street - Houston, TX W/ Fu Manchu & The Cougars

Sun, 10/17 (12:30pm) @ VoodooFest 2004 (Playstation Stage) Zachary Taylor Drive - New Orleans, LA

Thurs, 10/21 (11:30pm) @ Maxwell's 1039 Washington Street - Hoboken, NJ Chick's Rockfest / Red Tour w/ Blame Shift, Smear Campaign, Allison Tartalia, LP & FLUTTR

Fri, 10/22 (11:30pm) @ Arlene's Grocery 95 Stanton Street - NYC Chick's Rockfest / Red Tour w/ Blame Shift, Smear Campaign, Allison Tartalia, LP. & FLUTTR

Sat, 10/23/04 (9pm) @ Sky Bar 518 Somerville Ave. - Somerville, MA Chick's Rockfest / Red Tour w/ Blame Shift, Smear Campaign, Allison Tartalia, LP. & FLUTTR

For more info go to:
http://www.slunt.net/
http://www.zekeyou.com/
http://www.engineroomhouston.net/
http://www.voodoomusicfest.com/
http://www.maxwellsnj.com/
http://www.arlene-grocery.com/

Another Round Of Anger Please...

2004-10-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

I dont fucking like being asked to do something. You know goddamned well Im going to do it, just dont fucking ask me to do. Got it?! I dont fucking like being asked to do something!! Im going to fucking do it, you know Im going to fucking do it, just dont ask me!!!

Keep Up With Yr Stuff, Man...

2004-10-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Oh jeez, you believe this, get a load of it...

New York - The lead singer of the rock band Incubus was arrested for a carrying a switchblade in his bag while trying to board a plane on his way to a concert in North Carolina.

Brandon Boyd, 28, was stopped Wednesday at LaGuardia Airport when baggage screeners spotted the knife in his carry-on luggage, said Lou Martinez, a spokesman for the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, which operates the airport.

Boyd was charged with criminal possession of a weapon but was able to continue on to Raleigh, N.C., in time for the concert, said a spokeswoman for the band's label, Epic Records. Boyd admitted he accidentally left the knife in his bag and called the incident "my bad," spokeswoman Lois Najarian said.

"I totally forgot it was at the bottom of my bag, and when the security person pulled it out, I thought, `Oh, no,'" Boyd said in a statement Thursday.

Upon arriving in Raleigh, Boyd had only about 20 minutes to get from the airport to the concert hall, so Incubus' manager arranged for a police escort. "That was the most rock star of an entrance I've ever made," Boyd said. "The police cars pulled up to the venue and I literally walked right on stage."

Incubus, formed in 1991 in California, has produced five albums and achieved chart success with hits such as "Pardon Me" and "Drive," which reached the Billboard Top 10 in 2001. The band is on a sold-out tour of the United States and has a new album, "Live at Red Rocks," scheduled for release Nov. 23.

A new Incubus album??!! Hell fuckin yeah!!!
Joy!

An Evening With El Capitan Meatplow...

2004-10-07T16:59:00.000-07:00

CM: hello captain bucket this is lt. meatplow
TBR: hello El Capitan this I El Capitan Bucket
TBR: and more typos than one would care to read
TBR: let me recorrespond, Hello El Capitan Meatplow, this is El Capitan Bucket
CM: that is magnifisant that the rageing sea hasnt called you home yet good show jolly good show
TBR: well, between the sea, and the desert, and stupendous offers from both, theres just not enough time in the galaxy, ho ho ho, hah hah hah
CM: 16 dead men and a bottle of rum huh
TBR: hahahhahaha
CM: well if you have too eat that horrid pug beast too keep from scurvey
TBR: gah, no no, me matery, id nibble on them Jerk Russels
TBR: Id toss a lil mexican seasoning on them, and down the hatch
CM: rrrrrr but they be only a mouth full
TBR: true, true, but that wretched pug beast... Id save her for til the worst became the worst, hell, when the times look grim she makes a fine compan... i belive ive said too much
CM: rrrrr rrrrrrr hard har har rrrrrrr
TBR: ah hah hah hah... hah hah hah
TBR: British Pirates, we've hit two nails on the head, we went from British Socialites to damn Pirates
CM: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
TBR: sweet mother of god, whoops, my apologies, damn, well....... takes a hell of a deep breath... rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TBR: I feel like Gustavus in Baron Munchousen, well, felt like
CM: right on my brother rrrrrrrrr right on
TBR: heh heh heh
TBR: professional, highly trained
CM: always
TBR: you remember that Korean Lady Friend I had?
TBR: the one I was always writting
CM: um sure yeah
TBR: well, I finally drove her over the edge
CM: was it hard
TBR: poor girl got one of my drunken letters and in it I pretty much obliterated her
CM: aw now now
TBR: difficult? Well, you know how I am, always being myself
CM: well somethings people will never com to grips with
TBR: well, you also know how it is, she always pulls teeth to get honesty from me, and she went to far by explaining to me how I should stop this and stop that, and do this and do that, and be more happy
TBR: be more happy, that was too far
CM: well if you want another mother than you should ship up rrrrrrrrrrrr
TBR: well, theres a fine line between being a friend and being a friend that tries to pull out yr conscience, ill have no part of that thank you very much
TBR: you gotta read it, i really know how to make people shine
CM: well well havent we been touching are self in the dark
TBR: http://thebluerhino.blogspot.com/2004/10/sometimes-i-take-things-little-to-far.html
CM: exscuse me if i dont read it right now im writing and this damn computer see i damn it but yeah she is gonna blow shes on the edge right now now tht ive typed this sentance twelve times
TBR: cripes, if i had to rewrite a sentence twelve times, well, there was that one time in prison where my wonderful way of talking couldnt quite produce the wrods DRILL SERGEANT without it exiting as verbal diarehea and the bastards made me write it 100 times with my left fucking hand
CM: well its getting worse i think its gonna freeze soon so if it does same bat time
TBR: saaaaame bat channle, channel
CM: hey are you gonna send that message oare you just thinking about it
TBR: and to all those lil ones who're watching The Adventures of Senor El Capitan Meatplow and The Great El Rhino Azul, may those monsters under yr bed emerge from their comas and dance wild and naked around a bonfire doused in liquid fire!
TBR: message, what message?
TBR: jeeeez, every time that drill sergeant from Full Metal Jacket who now has his own show on the History Channel says 'four star general' i always hear it come out 'porn star general'
CM: hello
TBR: hello?
TBR: come in El Capitan Meatplow
TBR: come in

The end of this transmission, I sent an email to my esteemed collegue inquitring that I did not just walk out of the conversation if He thought thats what happened. What happened was is our PCs view differently, and Yahoo doesnt ever help the situation anyway as we all know, and plus, and He lives in the boonies, a former residence of mine. But, never the less, El Capitan Meatplow and I resumed contact and everything was sorted out just dandy, as it is always is.

See you later, Senor Dangerfield...

2004-10-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

In Los Angeles, California this afternoon, the great Rodney Dangerfield, the bad ass comic famed for his self-deprecating one-liners and signature phrase "I can't get no respect," died on Tuesday at age 82. He was in the first Caddyshack, did one hell of a swan dive in Back T School, and Meet Wally Sparks. Now, him and his compadre, Sam Kinison, can sip drinks in that big bar in the sky, or knock em' back in The Land de Fire.
See you later, Senor Dangerfield.

The Blue Rhino's Manifucksto #002...

2004-10-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

You know, hell, I am who I am.
No fucking more, no fucking less, and I never really did give a shit about anything, or really anyone, you know, thats just who I am, I dont give a shit anymore. Yeah, ANYFUCKING MORE. Not like I ever did, but I draw the line tonight! Ive said it for years, YEARS, Im a goddamned fucking monster that shoulda been put down for his own good a looooong time ago. But I wasnt. I wont be either! It aint worth being me, fuck it, ooooh fuck no it aint. But I wouldnt want to be anyone else either. Jesus fuckin Christ, I got a whole manuscipt on this. A whole big fuckin manuscript. Im who I am, and Im what I am. You dont like it, fine. I dont like it either. But you cant change what cant be changed, no you cant, and I certainly wont either!!! Read #001.
I dont care.
I really dont.
And none of this fucking shit I go through ever brings me down!!! Ever!!! Its what I am! Fuck it! Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah!!!
Got me.
I do.

Sometimes I take things a little to far...

2004-10-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

In the creative process I tend to take things a little to far. I tend to get a little carried away with this ungodly obsession I have with being like some of my literary idols. So, without further hesitance, Ill show you just how far I take things...

My most closest friend...

Go fuck yourself.
You aren’t even worthy of a fucking handwritten letter. I don’t write to you to read your fucking insults hurled back at me. I don’t care if it’s a way of expression, it is rude.I am sorry for intruding with that last letter. Accept it or not, I don’t care…at least I said it.
I have grown a little more secure in myself now. It doesn’t hurt me to tell you to fucking stop writing me letters until you grow enough of a fucking conscience to be kinder in your letters. I don’t need your fucking letters. I get mail with or without your letters. Why should I waste my time to try to decipher your lettering so I can read things like “koreapanese” – believe it or not, that offends me.
If that is your goal, then you have succeeded.
Don’t write me back. I am sorry. I don’t deserve to read shit like that.I have wasted a lot of money on stamps to you, something I can’t get back. Don’t feel proud though…it was worth it at the time. I am not even going to waste money on you. Don’t bother responding to this email account. I don’t use it anymore. I hope your other “friends” don’t have to endure the same shit I had to. Oh and disregard that other letter I sent you today. It shouldn’t mean anything anymore… seeing as now it has come from a former friend.
Bye ***,
***

I wish I coulda written some rant like that. Do I actually mean anything that I yell about. Well, sure I do. Its always about me, me, me. Blah, blah, fucking blah. Always. Always gotta be so fucking pissed. Cant be happy for two fucking seconds. Where would I be then, anyway. What a mess half the time. A fucking mess.
Yeah, things here at Camp Blue Rhino have been stunning latly.
Sorry.
What a mess as usual, huh?

Ah, The Blue Rhino...

2004-10-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

The Blue Rhino, a monster stratospherically sounded, what its like to be a monstrousity in the time of titanium zzzero point Phive, yeah, yeah...
yeah...
Have you ever let music move you to the point where you could and would cry lust for being you and knowing what you could do in time. Sweet is the word PaIn, misery, Im smiling. Laughter, Im happy. Im ready

The Blue Rhino, and what its like to be a man with his emotions in the world of the titanium comforted zero point five.
Where is the river for The Blue Rhino?
Singeth the blue silver...
Call it what you will, I call it beauty.

Call it monstrosity, call it lost for music, call it a form of insanity. I call it,

b
e
A
U
t
y

Tales of and for the...

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
Also, A memo from the shit desk...

TBR: Hey ***!!!
TBR: Whatre U doin???
TBR: ima 3 through a Fightin Rooster///
SC : role playing
TBR: its 9 30 p, NWFL time
SC : a 3?
SC: well,... im James Pages and Jon Davis here
SC : oh
SC: i'm role playing in attone city rpg
TBR: Noooooooo, Almost,,, oh, im drunk, im outta heeeeeere
SC : ok ***, safe journey buddy
TBR: hey, ***, everyday is holiness my brother!
TBR: U know me
SC : holiness...i'm a wiccan ***
TBR: Beligerent Messer, ME, ***
SC : go pass out ***
TBR: heh heh, after some artwork, that, uh, you know, a hella of an IDEA, ***
TBR: this is good material
TBR: uh, heh heh
TBR: Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii bring you~~~~~~~~~~~
TBR: Fire...
SC: wtf?
TBR: bring me,
TBR: brought me... DOWN!!!

Of course you know, its verrrrrry good material.

And She Said...

2004-10-04T06:16:00.000-07:00

"Hi

So, Blue Rhino, do you have some sort of instant messenger thing where we can have an actual conversation, instead of going through Blog comments? I find you rather interesting...just dying to know more. ;)

Kasey"

And I said... "Dying to know more, I bet you say that to all the boys"

A walk on the dark side...

2004-10-02T19:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, ok, now for the dark side...
Today in Crestview the new Harley Davidson store, Crestview Performance opened. Wether or not the hardcore Crestview bikers came out, you know who the are, the regulars at my favorite local Eagle Customs customers, to visit what looked like to me the cityesh bike store. But, I did see some 'Crestview's Angels', or my favorite label, 'Hellview's Angels' looming around to check out the new shop. But, it did get a great turn out I must say, and you can be sure, the Cash's by the Cinema 3 and Wings of Fire had hogs parked out front there all day long. Oh, and speakin' of ole Cash, if yr out crusin' the streets of the big shitty, check out the new lighting at the Cash's with the cannon! Oh man, brand new spunkin' light work, lights up the bottles real well, I mean, heh heh, real well. Of course you know, heh heh, I viewed up close and personal, kinda makes me wonder why Im not spittin' out the mad keyboard skills.

Classy, stuff man!

Oooooh, what a damn sight! I love it when this city gets filled with these guys, and the better thing about it was I didnt see as many of these city folk's Honda and whatever none Harley pieces of shit roaming around, though, there where some. But what do you expect?But we all know, and we always have, if yr sportin' a Har yr shopping at Eagle Customs, no damn doubt about it. We know where to shop, and we always will! You cant beat the best and most Professional, no way, no how. You cant beat hardcore either. No you fucking cant.

So, whens the madness coming? Oh yes, here it is. I felt very invigorated last night by emptying a bottle of Jim Beam last night. Did I do anything useful, well, yeah the art work. You know, to be honest, I had a pretty good lazy today, Im not really angry like usual. Tomorrows another day, heh heh. Yes, theres always tomorrow.

And now for something pretty...

2004-10-02T08:20:00.000-07:00

Isnt the weather beautiful outisde in sunny Crestview, FL? Man, it was foggy as heck this morning, but I sure am glad the sun poked its head out and came outside to play.
Awwwwwwww.

The Blue Rhino vs TK 101...

2004-09-29T15:21:00.000-07:00

This is a current on going battle, I think, so for those of you that currently follow up on the Rhino Azul, yr gonna love this!

I think WTKX 101 the local Pensacola, FL radio station is deleting what The Blue Rhino has, evidentlly, to say on their message board! I viewed the radio's online website only to find that anything having to do with The Blue Rhino had been deleted, or is my PC making my mouth a mouth of ethics, I think not! I think finally im gettin' through to these local yahoos that life aint so sweet on the insane and angry side. What ever the fuck some ones around here has a bad fucking day, I might have to express it somewhere besides one of the most violence indulged websites in the Either World! Hell, I might as well attempt a stab at callin' in and yellin'!
News, at 10!

Well, its ten, and heres the news!

WTKX 101 outta Pensacola is deleting The Blue Rhino from their website's, TK101.com, message board! I believe they didnt like me saying the played the same shit all the time and offering different titles to play, an easy solution to an easy problem. Can you believe it?? Can you? They actually deleted me! Too bad, huh. I thought the Freedom of Speech was pursued by them. Oh yeah, and I thought they where the gung ho, defy the system, say it all station. Rebel my ass!! I guess they could give a fuck less about what their listeners actually think, even their radical ones, like me, huh. I guess their little hokie web board is just a little toy for those idiot teeny bopper, shit listenin', on my mommy's compooter usin, musician wannabes!!! !! !!!!
Well, Im sorry TK, but thank fuck Im a Crestuckian and my alligiance is to 99 ROCK in FT Walton, you bastards! Yep, Im gonna say it, fuck you TK 101! FUCK YOU!!! Yr station sucks! Yr staff sucks, especially yr website runners! Fuck you!!!
Oh yeah, and Candy, if you looked as good as yr voice sounds...

The Blue Rhino VS Senor Ivan Part Dos...

2004-09-28T18:01:00.000-07:00

Christ o fucking mighty Cox Communications, just how many more times are you going to work on my cable/net? Will you leave it alone, cause the more you work it the more fuckers are going to log on at once and make yr servers slow as fuck! This hurricane has really pissed me off, man, they where working on the cable, again, this afternoon and now everybody is tryin to get on the net now, right now!! Everybody just bombardes the servers and it creates one hell of a problem. Like I said, its slowing the fuck outta my pc, how can I work on my pictures of the Tampa Bay Bucs cheerleaders if my pc is slow!? Whoops, did I say what I was doing. Uh, yes, I did, well, look past that. But dont look past this, you know, youd think a huge company like Cox would have multiple towers around here to deal with the every growing subscribing population! You think with all this money theyre monopolising theyd have some sense to have more than one tower for each county. But noooo. Sure, multiple towers require FCC permits, well fuck, they might as well get the FCC down here, for some of the shit people look up in this city, they might as well get them involved.
I wish I was rich, id sue the livin fuck outta cox communications for false advertisment, this shit isnt fast at all with everybody in the tri county area on the god damned thing, all at once!! Sure, sure, Ill give you the fact that you do have yr moments, Cox, when you exceed yr word, but those times when you really need the speed, you guys come in way, way too short handed! Get some more fucking towers will you!?
Oh, and thank you Gulf Power!! You guys did a more super job than Cox, but Cox did put on an impressive show outside my mansion, but, really, good job folks.

The Blue Rhino VS Ivan The Terrible...

2004-09-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Im not really a man of religion, but I believe some force of nature is pretty pissed of at the Sunshine State...

Hurricane Ivan came and went over Northwest Florida and tackled this wonderful city of ours...

I cant type today, im sorry...

Ok, its a day later, and now The great Blue fucking Rhinocerous is ready to spill words or wisdom, sit back and enjoy yr flight ...

Im not really a man who lets his mind stray on to the weak paths of religion, bu tI do think someone somewhere who weilds the hands of Ole Momma Nature was pretty pissed off when it unleashed Hurricane Ivan on to the Emerald Coast, and Ive said it before, nothing like a good dose of chaos to get the blood flowing!
To me, this shindig was a perfecto storm! It ripped up roads, blew the hell outta buildings, tore down big Oak and Pine trees, chopped those fuckers down! Blew apart almost every sign in the city, mass hysteria, ignorance and idiocy, bad driving, fear of the road and a good laugh at the Law Enforcment cause everytime you went out you saw those idiot patrol cars parked in front of any lunch serving restaurant... whipped around power lines and cable lines... well, I don really want to think too much on those days without cable. I mean, I can live without air conditioning and cold foods, god Ive done it before every which way and how, but there is nothing, nothing, NOTHING in the galaxy that is more withdrawling than NO CABLE/INTERNET!!! You know, I got a lot of artwork done, I got a lot of artwork done, and I pondered on topics to type about on this thing, but, not being able to visit my fans here in the Ether World, oh fuck, thats just a damn shame thats making me slightly flashback... cripes, thats bad joy!
So, did I survive? Well sure. Why wouldnt I? Didnt you indulge in liquid fire almost every night? Well, heh heh heh, yeah, uh, I did. During the course of the aftermath and the two or so weeks living like the great Swiss Family Robinson, and wouldnt it be nice if I was shacked up with Ms Robinson... oops, got my Robinsons mixed together, well, I crossed my Ts and looped my Ps and bought a bottle of Fighting Cock. Before each shot as the magic amber liquid sat in its glass, I set it ablaze, blew it out and gulped. Its takes a god damn professional to loose yr mind like that, and theres only so many equations you can answer them to by declaring 'Its all in the name of ART'! And, the fuck only knows why I even said yes to a certain shade of green. Theres nothing more irrespnsible than indulging when chaos has ereupted.
And thats just what the fuck the ugly City of Crestview expirienced! FEMA is a load of shit, Im sorry, I think people provide proof of their problems or... thats just goddamned stupid isnt it, even for me. But I still think FEMA is a load, and I think all the fuckers that used FEMA as an easy accessed hand out is a load too! Ive never seen so much white trash around here those days it made me a little sick. And you know damn well they didnt have a single problem, they where just using this problem as an excuse to flaunt their 5 rotten, trash kids, their fatter than fat pasty skinned wives, and their Duct taped together, aluminum can, trash mobiles! Ugggghhhh!! Goddamned disgusting, and if you didnt know why they labled this city 'Crestucky', well, if you where around then, youd know damn why!
It was a goddamned mess.

Hurrican or Hurricant Ivan...

2004-09-14T10:24:00.000-07:00

So, whatdya think of this Ivan the Terrible nonsense? I love the weather services to death, but do they really know whats going on?
Oh, and by the by, for some reason all my info tabs fell to the floor on the bottom of the site, so scroll down to enter the Halls of Wisdom.

The Blue Rhino Manifucksto #001...

2004-09-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

Heyllo, hehllo, huhllo, HELLO, I am The great, goddamned, muhthafucking, Blue Rhinocerous!!! I am what I am, and I am everything that you think, and you say I am!!! I dont care what you think. I may be a good little boy, or I may be a bad lil fucker. Either way, I DO NOT GIVE A FUCK!!!
I am The Blue Rhino.
I have a personality. I am an individual. I aint one of the pack, Im not yr neighborhood law abiding gee golly swell buddy, and I aint yr dime a dozen piece of meat, born and raised to follow watered down, conservative, church going, right wing ground set rules!!! You cant bring me down! You cant take me down! You cant take shit away from me!! You cant do shit to me!!! You cant step to me, you cant step up to me, you cant step to me, YOU CAN NOT STEP UP TO ME!!!! !!! !! !!!!

!!! !! !!!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You got me?! Huh?!! Do you??!!!

WHAT!!!

A few question marks here and there...

2004-09-09T18:35:00.000-07:00

I just dont know what to tell you these days, I think im losing it, I think my mind is going to explode and all the self righteous bullshit. I think, and I know, Im spending too much damn time on the box. Id think outside of it, but I dont think itll let me, and Im sure it wont, to. Cripes, I think my fingers are turning in to rubber with plastic caps for finger tips. Shit, the hells happening? Thank god I use glasses or else my eyeballs would fall out, thank whatever these windows are holding them in! I feel like I should go smoke a cigar, yes, id like a cigar, a nice Ashton Machanudou, or, maybe a cigarillo, yes, an Al Capone cognac dipped would be verrrry nice. Wait, shit, I have ciggys. Yes, oh yes, I have a pack of Dunhills. Should I go cheap? I do have my tradional Camel Lights. Oh, the good old days. Oh the sweet smell of tobacco smoke. That smell will never get out of my nostrils, no matter how much I clean them out to get rid of that lingering plague of the good old days, they seem so distant to me now.
I am The Blue Rhino and I think Im losing it.
Im going crazy, or maybe I already was?
We're doomed and...
aint nobody gonna save us.

Too bad, eh?

Yes, too damn bad indeed. Try looking at this, will ya'.

Comments are FINALLY turned on?...
Thanks to Blogger for not telling me my comments section was closed to the general public, they are now FINALLY turned on, soooooooooooo, to all my fans, The Blue Rhinocerous has them open for all of you, gee thanks Blogger! But without Blogger.com, Id have no outlet, so remember, I looooooooooove you Blogger, Im sure Im confused, but, Blogger.com, if you where a woman with sweet blonde hair, any color eyes, maybe wore glasses, and had a killer bod with awesome skin, Id marry you.So folks, go ahead and post yr thoughts, queries and random outbursts and all will get a reply, and sooooome, will get turned in to a post! Which Im sure they will because I feed of yr vocal statments, so blast away. God damn it, dont make me beg, ok. Im sure you people post every where else, what, you folks not good enough to post herte, or maybe im too damn good for you people? Huh? What??
Ok, heres a smiley, :) :), happy? I am, oooooooh the smileys, THE SMILEYS!!! :) :) :)

TbR

My good friend Senor Jilbert...

2004-09-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

I recently got in contact with a being who I consider a dear friend, Senor Jilbert, who formerly worked at Consolidated Skateboards, thanks to FecalFace.com, you know, the Art people in San Fran...

Senor Jilbert, good to see yr still alive!! Love the photos, awesome as usual. I think Cons is throwing out my correspondences, and I think Destructo is to, but I still still send the Prime Minister of Destructo packages. I dunno, I think Im sending my work to the wrong people, youve seen my work who do you think I should attack next??
The Blue Rhino • 09/04/04 06:38pm

blue rhino, i am sorry i havent gotten back to you. life has been hectic. bit i did get all of your letters. maybe you should start senidng them to magazines. any magazine. they'd love it.
jilbert • 09/05/04 07:16am

But, who would you suggest? Ive got a three inch binder filled to the gills with my work, theyre all complete to, much better than anything I sent you and Cons. Plus, I have all the Drawing Board pieces. So, I gotta feeling all this work isnt for nothing. I mean, I dont mind sending people free artwork, I just wish theyd either publish it or something, money doesnt grow on trees and if it did, Id have a shit load of friends. Well, I do apologize for ranting like this, I usually save that for my site. Check it out. Everybody! Well, Senor Jilbert, Im glad to know yr still around, and youve got wonderful pics. Thanks for the correspondance, always. thebluerhino.blogspot.com
The Blue Rhino • 09/05/04 02:54pm

Oh it was grand, his ever so hectic life restrains him from contacting me back, but thats ok, cause that gives me time to work on my art, now, NOW, if the Prime Minister of Destructo Trucks would contact me back, and THOSE FUCKERS AT SKATEBOARDER MAGAZINE, I SENT YOU PEOPLE AT LEAST A DOZEN CORRESPONDECES!!! Yes, sorry, a little peterpt about it, I mean, how would like sending hard drawn work youve shed blood, sweat and tears and some pretty fucked up emotions over and get nothing back. Yeah, sure, thats life, no, thats not life, thats fucked up if you ask me. Id call it theft, but I knew I was getting shit in return, I mean, its a fucking magazine for fucks sake!! Do magazines ever write back, FUCK NO! Sure, they got all darn day to write back, all it takes is just a few seconds to write up and envelope, lick a stamp on it, and write a letter saying yay or nay. I mean come the fuck on? We pay 5 bucks for these things, sometimes a lot more. I dunno. Corporate cacamahmie bullshit if you ask me. Did you ask me? Sure you did or else you wouldnt be reading my words, eh?

Still harassing the locals...

2004-09-05T15:01:00.000-07:00

You know, children who think they have it bad really dont. But, its ok, thats why Im here!

"Dearest Senorita Dooey,

My sincerest apologies for contacting you off blog, but it seems I have gone off the how many chracters i can fit again, so, heres is a pretty, or ugly penny, for yr thoughts...

No, college is the invention of Satan. Messenger bags where just invented by Jansport so Journeys Shoes could have something pretty to sell, dont worry, my lady, for when I was in high school, I bought one in 99', but I ended up coloring the living fuck outta it, and well, its worth a lot by my fans. But enough about ugly messenger bags, we have more exitaining things to chat about.

Youve got it all wrong, its not bad at all, OWCC is quite easy if you can get around the trendy trendheads trying to be either like each other, or not trying to be like each other by yanking wool over everybodies eyes, and, well, doing a really, really shitty job doing it. How about this, try going to an out of state junior college attempting to get a degree in something you could give a fuck less about because all those other classes are dragging you down, and have yr head in the clouds 24 fucking 7 about dreams, or, IE, delusions of utter fucking gradure, and see how you like that. Oh, and pick a subject where nobody is remotly like you, and when you speak, people either giggle or ignore you because yr insights are so fucking off the wall, because, or shit, here comes that P word, cause youve got more PeRsOnAlitY than any of those motherfuckers could even think about having... Oh, and let that school be in Alabama! Sooooooo, 80 percent of all the people have that godawful stupid fucking accent, and when they speak, it comes out all jarbled and idiotic that it either makes no sense to you because one, what ever they comment to you on makes no sense cause 70 percent of the time they dont have the slightest fuck what theyre talking about, or, you just cant understand them, either they talk to fast with out thinking about what theyre saying, and you cant help but laugh on the inside or, be a jackass and laugh on the outside because its just that fucking funny. Yeah, pull one of those, wait, sounds a lot like high school.

Oh the good old days...

Though yr college rant is simply entertaining and I cant state enough how much I enjoy hearing about the life and times of younger and inexpirianced folk in this wonderful shitty, I meant, city, we call Hellview, and im not one to speak becuase I couldnt dare think about stepping foot on that ugly fucking swine ridden campus and though I actually have many times for either my prom or to pick up a friend, and I still dont feel quite right, I commend you, but cause who the fuck knows what kind of freak shows actually go there... Well, I think I forgot how to end this, but, uh, yeah, uh, got any good music latly, um, uh, good day ma'am.

The local psycho, still,

The Blue Rhino"

Well, there you have it, fun, fun, fun in the Northwest Florida Land of the Lost Broken Dreams.

M... T... V... ...

2004-08-30T09:23:00.000-07:00

Well, now its time for The great Blue Rhino to take a stab at that fuck head of channel, MTV.

Warning: Contains, as usual, strong adult language...

As you all know last night in Miami the MTV Video Music Awards took place, and I couldnt have been more angrier at my TV for showing me that shit!
When the fuck did MTV become BET2???!!! I mean really, really become BET2??!! I mean, what the high holy fuck!!!??? When did fucking teenagers hands down own that fucking station?? That was the epitome of fuck head! That was utterly discusting and I think those fucking terriosts should hit the MTV building rather than the twin towers! Yes Ive said it, and I dont care because I already know where Im going when I die. I think America was hosed! I think they shoulda fucking crashed a fucking jet in to the MTV building and saved the US from itself. I mean, fucking shit, how many fucking rappers do we need on that goddamned channel!!! Lets just call it RTV, rap tv. Or shit, lets just fucking call in Nicklodeblacktelevison. Yeah, NTV! God damn it!!! Ive never seen SO MUCH of the same watered down horse shit in my life on one channel. Well, maybe for Fox News. But NO, MTV has finally fucking crossed the line!
I remember when it was not stop videos, all kinds of videos, like MTV2 which is also a crock of horse fuck, but they showed videos, from every type of music, every, type, of, MUSIC. Now its the same teenbopper jail bait fuck head bull shit, if its not Brit Spears then it Avril Lavigne. If its Jojo then its the Duffs. If its not some little whore its some slut. Ooooooh, and if its not teeny fuck head shit, then its the rap. If its not D12, and I hate to say them because for you hardcore TBR fans I was a big Eminem fan, yeah, back in fucking high school almost 4 fucking years ago!!!, and if its not D12 its 50 cent. If its not Usher its Jay Z. If its not Lil Jon, and what the fuck is so appeling to a guy that says only three words, YEAH, OK, and... does he actually say more than two, and if its not him its some other thing thats worth as much as my shit is!
Outkast... as Andre 3000 said last night in a sarcastic im fed up with this shit tone of voice, "For the millionth time, Hey Ya god damnit". And, how true it is.

Hey, if yr sucking on the tit of the music industry, motherfuckers you better suck the fuck outta that tit dry!

What does it take to get a Korn video on there? What does it take to get a Deftones video on there? Hell, Incubus got on there, but MTV edited the Bush bashing, which was the whole fucking point of the video, and they only ran it what, twice? They couldnt have anything slandering our child like pres, huh? We cant have that, now can we. Hell, none of those teeny fuckers know what politics is, they get from their mommies and daddies, and they dont know what the fuck is going on with our contry any fucking way!!! They listen to that fuck head Bill OReily (Yeah, the king fuck head that cost Ludacris, which I am a fan of this guy, a Pepsi deal, but its ok to have Spears, Shakira and Beyonce show their T n' A, thats much better than Luda isnt it?) on Fox News they sit and listen to him as he fights with politics and flirts with porn stars he ocassionaly has on there, and, they listen to him recommend they dump out the Michael Moore schtick, which I am absolutly hands fucking down am all for. Michael Moore kicks ass, and is totally right. The epitome of that rant for later is Stupid White Men, read it. Youll thank me later.
BBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUTTTTTT, as I was saying, what does it take to get some hardcore vids, Korn, Deftones, Tool, Pantera, Rob and White Zombie. YR FUCKING AFFRAID ITLL GIVE THESE CHILDREN NIGHTMARES ARENT YOU!!! YOU FUCKERS DREW THE LINE AT MARILYN MANSON'S SWEET DREAMS DIDNT YOU SCARED LIL FUCKERS!!! Hell, I thought a guy covered in mud wearing a cowboy hat and riding a pig was the best Id seen on MTV in a long ass while, but, heh heh, that was what, 96'?
My, how MTV has improved huh. If I want to see woman half naked, hell, ill turn on E! and at least get some class out of it. Hell no, youd rather see jail bait run around scantily clad doing whatever they call the dancing they do, hell, it looks like a mixture of Speed and Coke to me, listening to shitty ass singles and screaming instead of cheering. No, screaming is not fucking cheering!! Crash a fucking plane in to the MTV building and im sure their fucking screams will sound a lot different, or, no wait, itll probably sound the same.
Poor little kids. This is the road our country has chosen to travel down. Jail baut listening to shitty music.

Where are all the kids who listen to loud and offensive music???!!!

Come out of hiding dear ones and let yr voices and anger shine through!!! Come out, come out where ever you angles are...

Dont worry folks, im far from done...

Banana Spiders, oh what a life...

2004-08-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I figured since Banana Spider season is winding down, I figured, yes, Ive been doing a lot of figuring latly, I mean hey, whats a guy who spends most of his time art working and heavy drinking to do, put in a plug for those bastard spiders...

They just fucking hang there!!!

Banana Spiders, I envy them, though I never see them catch anything in their webs, how the hell do they eat? They usually have a baby or two hanging around, and thats sweet. I bet theyre relativly good parents, that or they dont care and the spiders are too wierd to notice. Well, they grow that banana thing on their abdomen, and then after a few monthes it falls off and it looks like a burn, or a mark, then, well, you know, they just fucking hang there and die. And, I thought post was going to be longer. Well, you know, I think thats a hell of a thing they got going there. Just hanging there all day and they dont move unless they feel the need to stretch, I would to if I hung in that pose as much as they do.

Shit, thats it.

Land of 337 corpses...

2004-08-23T09:03:00.000-07:00

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

ROME, Ga. - It was a scene too horrible to imagine: heaps of decaying bodies that were supposed to be cremated — many spilling out of a storage shed, scattered around a crematory building and in nearby woods. A civil lawsuit against former operator Brent Marsh and the estate of his late father, former owner Ray Brent Marsh, was to go to trial Monday, 2 1/2 years after the remains were discovered at the Tri-State Crematory in Noble, near the Tennessee line.

Investigators found heaps of decaying bodies from Georgia, Alabama and Tennessee. Complete and partial human remains were found in storage buildings, in burial vaults, and in pits and the surrounding forest.
Tests revealed the crematory gave some families cement dust instead of their loved one's ashes. The remains of 334 people were discovered on the property.
Brent Marsh also faces 787 charges in a criminal trial set for Oct. 11. If convicted, he could be sentenced to more than 8,000 years in prison.
Attorneys for the 1,671 plaintiffs say it will be more difficult to collect money from Marsh than to convince a jury of his guilt. A judge ruled Brent Marsh was too poor to afford his own lawyer in the criminal case, but he's being represented in the civil case by attorneys paid for by his insurance company.
"It's probably about as strong a case against Brent Marsh as you can possibly have," said Robert Darroch, an attorney for the families. "Most of them are still incredibly emotional about what happened. This ruined the memory about the passing of one of their loved ones."
One of the civil plaintiffs, Anthony Schuchman said he's seeking about $1,500 for the cost of cremating his son and the cost of digging up his son's grave in an unsuccessful attempt to find a body part large enough to be identified. The son, Gilbert Schuchman, died Dec. 29, 1992, and was supposedly cremated at Tri-State.
"We don't know if that's him or not," said Schuchman, 85.
A separate lawsuit went to trial last spring. It lasted about two weeks before all 58 funeral homes named as defendants for sending bodies to the crematory during 1988-02 reached settlements totaling $36 million.
The latest lawsuit doesn't specify what amount of money the families are seeking from Marsh. This trial will only determine liability. If guilty, a second trial a few months later would award damages.
If the families get a guilty verdict, they will then likely try to get the Marshes' insurance company, Georgia Farm Bureau, to pay.
Georgia Farm Bureau agreed to pay for the Marshes' defense but not assume liability, but at least two lawsuits are pending over the existence of insurance and whether Georgia Farm Bureau would bear any responsibility.

Another plug for the deaf...

2004-08-19T09:04:00.000-07:00

http://www.einsteinshrugged.co.uk/

And be fucking sure to check out the GONZOBEATS warehouse of sausage...

Oh, the good old days...

2004-08-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

From a Senor Teever: "Same damn thing happened to me meester rhino. I hunger to read about the Beginning and the evolution of The Blue Rhino".

Really, huh, huh, do you, do you?? Ahahahahahahaha. Well, live and hope. But that stuff is waaaaaaaaay back, theres soooooooooo much more. Moonflight 33 was, a test. A friend of mine wanted his own website. But he was really shy, and not very creative in that area. He was guitarist with a heart of metal, folks, this guy could play all the jigs, Tool, Zep, Korn, White fuckin Zombie, The Tones, I mean, this fucker could play it!! But, as I said, he wasnt too hot on the keyboard. So, he wanted something, more, intense. Who better to help him out was his best buddy, or, as I considered him, my brother, and I still do, but, theres a post on my blog that shows where that shit eventually goes. But, folks, it was an experiment brought on by a lot of heavy drinking on my part. I mean, to be honest, I think I was bad now, noooo, finding that site made me reminiss about the good old days, oh,whateverisupthere, how I miss, sooo fuckin miss the good old days. Im feeling a little teary. Just two idiot kids with his parent scrappy ass computer. But there was a reason it was crappy, as he explained to me, "Dude, you gotta realize, my parents never had acomputer, they didnt grow up with one. They dont know, man.". But, they do now, heh heh. You know, it was only 5 or so years ago, but to me, its a goddamned life time ago. It hasnt been easy, oh fuck no it hasnt been easy, oh motherfucking Hell no it has not been easy, but, shit, nothin ever is, huh. Never is... But, my man, theres so damn much more, but my bloggggggggger, now thats some hot shit.

thebluerhino.blogspot.com, oh home sweet home!

Until I can make money as a writer and not an artist, which is how I make my wages now, live and hope, when I finally get that book deal, then youll really, really, (ready for some caps?), REALLY, get The Blue Rhino, but until then, that, this, damned blog is whatcha wannna see!
But thank you so much for yr fandom, Senor Teever!!! Even if it was sarcastic, I still appreciate the words.
Some more laughter?
Sure, why not. Im game for it. Ahem...
Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.
TheBlueRhino

Also, hey Dent the Teacher, I hope you have students just like me, cause when I was in school, I was much, much worse. And, theyll always be, one in a zillion, be one just like me. Help us all.
Or, maybe there wont.
Course, back then, I used to use that line as a threat, "I hope you have kids just like me". That line sent the fear of there god in to them. Wooooo, I remember the look on peoples faces when I was backed in to a corner having to use that line. Heh heh heh, but I meant it,a nd I still do! Heh heh heh. But of course, in order for you all to get that, id have to work my ass putting all, ALL of my notebooks on my blog, too many notebooks, journals, loose papers, toilet paper... did I say toilet paper, the Hell that come from?
What the fuck?
Uh oh...
TBR

Music dealers are still more difficult to deal with than drug dealers...

2004-08-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

Music dealers are more difficult to deal with than drug dealers: The saga continues...

And continues it does...

I say: Bull shit is it? Bull shit? Well, Im so sorry you think thats what my game is. Gee thanks, yr so kind. Heh heh heh :)

Batty Nick says: The Page Plant shows are good, so send 4 cds and the correct postage SASE, and i'll burn the shows for you.

The Blue Rhino says: 4 cds, not ten? Mmm hmm... Ok, will do, bucko.
See them in yr mail box soon.
TBR

Batman, N says: yes 4 not 10, cause you may not be happy with them. ok bucko

The Blue Rhino attacks viciously with:
Ok, I guess...
Nick, I dont know how I can put any clearer, and Im really sorry I sound like a broken record, which I am sounding, but, Im trying to be so, how do I want to put this, calm, Nick, I dont care about quality, ok, I dont care if theyll sound bad, I told you, man, brother, chum, buddy, Im just into the music. Im not in to quality, hell, i listen to crappy ass Deftones recordings all the damn time, theyre my favorite band, and and the shows i listen to are from outwest, and they suck, and i listen to them all the time.
Sooooo, Nick, Im not into quality. What, you affraid im going to bad mouth you or something, or not want yr services? Which is it. Wait, maybe its something else. I just want the music, man.
You have these shows, that I want to add to my collection, good or bad, Ill always want yr services, no matter what.
The hell are you affraid of?
Ok, well, Im sure its bullshit to you. Im sure. But, if its four yr want, well, sure.
Ill settle, for now.

One of the laziest motherfucks Ive ever encountered, or plain yellow says: send me 4 blank cds, ill burn the 2 shows for you, send them back to you, then you can tell me if you are happy with them and if you wanna make another deal.

I, the magnificent Blue Rhinocerous end this bullshit with: Okie dokie.

What the fuck is the matter with this guy??!! You be the judge.

Gee momma, them folks sure do act like animals to me...

2004-08-08T18:07:00.000-07:00

"An attack so fucked up, that not even the dental records could help in the indetification process"...

!!!Animals kill over a fucking thefted Xbox in Deltona Beach, Florida!!!

Oh the wonderful, wonderful Sunshine State. If we dont fuck up presidential elections, then we kill each other over an game console. Whatll we do next?

An ex-convict who blamed a young woman for taking his video game system and clothes recruited three teenagers to stab and beat her and five others to death, investigators said Sunday.

The 22-year-old woman was singled out for an attack so vicious that even dental records were useless in trying to identify her. Some of the victims were attacked in their sleep, according to authorities.

The victims' bodies were found Friday in a blood-spattered home.

All four suspects have been charged with first-degree murder and armed burglary, the Volusia County sheriff's department said.

Suspected ringleader Troy Victorino, 27, of Deltona, was "very guarded" during questioning, Sheriff Ben Johnson said. Three 18-year-olds were also arrested Saturday: Robert Cannon of Orange City and Jerone Hunter and Michael Salas, both of Deltona.

All four were jailed in Daytona Beach while awaiting bail hearings Monday. Johnson wants prosecutors to seek the death penalty, saying, "These families will never get over this."

Never get over this...

Police said the attack was the culmination of events revolving around a nearby vacant home owned by one of the victims' grandparents and used by Victorino and other squatters as a party house. The four men and two women who were slain had reported being harassed by the alleged assailants.

"Officials struggling to come up with a motive for the crime believe the killings were committed over the theft of some clothes and an Xbox game system owned by Victorino," a statement from the sheriff's office said.

All four suspects were armed with aluminum bats when Victorino kicked in the locked front door, according to arrest records. The group, who wore black clothes and had scarves on their faces, grabbed knives inside and attacked victims in different rooms of the three-bedroom house, authorities said.

The victims, some of whom were sleeping, did not put up a fight or try to escape, Johnson said. All had been stabbed, but autopsies determined the cause of death was the beating injuries.

Victorino has spent eight of the last 11 years in prison and was arrested Saturday for a probation violation.

His first arrest was in an auto theft when he was 15, according to state records. He has prior convictions for battery, arson, burglary, auto theft and theft.

Hunter, who was with Victorino when he was arrested Saturday, agreed to accompany investigators for questioning. Police said he admitted his role in the slayings and identified the other two suspects.

All four suspects appeared before a judge Saturday without attorneys. They will have a chance to ask for court-appointed lawyers on Monday.

Hunter, a high school wrestler, moved out of his family's house in May but recently agreed to return home for his senior year. "He never seemed to be that type ... that was violent," his father Dan Washington said. "He was a good kid, he just got with the wrong crowd."

The sheriff's office has identified five of the victims as Michelle Ann Nathan, 19; Anthony Vega, 34; Roberto "Tito" Gonzalez, 28, who recently moved from New York; Francisco Ayo Roman, 30; and Jonathan Gleason, 18. The sixth victim was believed to be Erin Belanger, 22, whose grandparents own the vacant home and spent the summer in Maine.

Joe Abshire, Belanger's brother-in-law, said she described heading to the vacant house to go swimming one day and finding about six people living there. The squatters were kicked out, but deputies were called to the grandparents' house six times in 10 days before the killings. The victims reported a tire-slashing at their home and a threat. The squatters warned Belanger that "they were going to come back there and beat her with a baseball bat when she was sleeping," Abshire, who is married to Erin's sister Jennifer, told The Sun of Lowell, Mass., for Sunday editions.

Victorino complained that his belongings were removed from the grandparents' house while he was in jail following a July 29 arrest for battery, Johnson said. He said Victorino found his things boxed up at the victims' house and took them after the killings.

The bodies were discovered in the rental home in the working-class community about 25 miles north of Orlando after one of Nathan's co-workers at a Burger King asked someone to visit the house because she had not arrived for work.

(UPDATES throughout to correct that Victorino was arrested Saturday for probation violation, sted eight days before slayings, ADD details of Victorino's criminal record; minor edits.)

The Blue Rhino vs Neanderthals...

2004-08-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

The Yahoo! group, einsteinshrugged, is one of the best places to battle. It has the best atmosphere to provide a full scale attack...

My first trick in tonights show...

Hard topics faught out Blue Rhinocerous style!!!

Senor Neanderthal says "Abortion = Murder? I can't agree with you there. It's a logical medical/scientific development to assist in the curbing of population growth, that can be used to stabilize birth rates where environmental/economic conditions are not conducive to populationgrowth".

And I, The Blue Rhino says:
LET US NOT FORGET WHO'S CHOICE IT IS TO MAKE THE DECISION. ITS THE WOMAN'S DECISION. IF YOU START OUTLAWING ABORTION, LET ME TELL YOU,THEYLL JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY TO ABORT IT. BY I DONT THINK THIS FUCKHEAD COUNTRY WILL LET THINGS GET TO GRIM. ITS A WOMAN'S CHOICE,ALWAYS WILL BE!!! !! !!!!

Hell, I think the death penalty is the best way for population control. Most of the animals that are there, deserve to be. They did something fucked up to get there, and they deserve what they get. Besides, taking out death row inmates would save a fuck load of the public's money.

Senor Neanderthal (Steve), are you ready?

Oh yeah, yeah huh, actually, I shouldnt bother to respond to yr criticisms of my criticisms, but, who am I, right? Heres some smileys, so we get going with a smile, ok, :) :) :)

So Mr Man, whatdaya think, lets just kill everybody and let their god's sort them out, huh? Oh wait, there are no gods. Killing is killing wether done for duty, profit or fun. Ooooh, poor Stevey, I seem to have hit a nerve, whatdaya say? Let me tell you something, those fucking things in Correctional Facilities are animals, no matter what you think a human being should be called. Theyre animals buddy, no matter what the hell. You cant possibly tell me, that a human that kills, no, butchers, no gorifingly destroys another and has no remorse for it, is a human being. If one of those "humans" walked in to yr family's life, raped the females, and the males, butchered them to fine cuts, hid the remains, and nobody could fine them, EVER, laughed all the way through trial, laughed while he was on the stand and said if he could do it again, he would, only he'd let the woman live so that he could violate them through every single orafice again, and again, and aga..., you watched all this trial go on, and the man gets sent to death row and he sits there, alive, cause the state appointed him a damn good lawyer by coincidence, and he gets his meals, and cable tv, and tax payers are pumping out dollars day after day to keep this fucking thing alive day after day and theres not a god damn thing you coulda done about the whole mother fucking thing!!! !! !!!! Would you still call him a human being then??!! ...
Sure you would.
No, theyre animals.

(Senor Neanderthal was very displeased in me labeling inhabitants of US State Corretional Facilities "Animals")

(Nor did he like me using my favorite button on my key board...)

"Easy on the caps lock key, buddy. Perhaps The Blue Rhino should take the time to read what it criticizes"

And, those caps, where a typo, I was just to, fast to notice, sorry if I offended you. My sincerest. But of course, if I had it to do over again, I wouldnt change a thing.

But, did I do the caps thing on purpose, no, sorry, that time it wasnt me, though I do live for the caps button to instate my opinion. But that time, in the words of John Doe from Se7en when referring to the dead dog at towards the end of the picture, "I didnt do that".

Now for my next trick...
Abortion is the woman's choice!!!

In general since it intimately involves the expectant mothers body I don't think I can be arrogant enough to even hold an opinion on her decision. My view is that abortion is a woman's right but the state may attempt to reduce the necessity of the procedure by offering better access to other methods of birth control, financial support to low income expectant mothers, free child care, free health care, etc.Now Im glad we agree is a ladie's choice. But I dont agree withstate intervention, as some do. Just so they can save the life arapist's child, or a incestuous habit gone ugly. Sure, and when she goes off and lets someone kick her in the stomach, or she has it,and dumps it in a toilet, or a dumpster, or some other inhumane, may I Stevey, please, "animalistic" thing, and she has proof that thestate intervened with her given right to have it or not "I wanted to kill it, but the fucking state wanted to spend a few more tax payers money on finding it a good home, fuck what I think", sure, let me know what happens. Oh wait, I know what happens, whatdaya call it, manslaughter, something along those lines? But wait a second, wait a minute, what about those woman that dohave the baby, and let it grow up to a ripe young age of, what, 7,8, 9, 10, and the mother lends it to her drug dealer to violate itin exchange for drugs. Should I go on? What happens to the poor babythen, whatll it grow up to be? The A word? A finder of God? Who knows, but do we want to let a thing like that grow up so we can know? Hell, when the child was born and it tested positive fors mack, or crank, or fuck knows what, the state said, well, it isher's might as well let her have it. We cant just take the baby away, moms got a good job for now... Maybe I should have used more capital letters when I wrote it. Yeah, maybe you shouldve, why not? You and I, brother, can play the wonderful ole' S word, 'Somantics' all day. But Im sure you dont want to bother with me, and why you did in the first place, I gotta thank you, I usually rant in the ether on my blog, but I figure id give you a go.
Thank you, Steve, Senor Neanderthal, the name fits you quite well.
Oh, and just one more thing, if you will, whoya votin fer November?
Yr buddy,
yr pal,
Ole' Jackass

Smile, :)

Oh fuck it all, its only tax payers money, right??!!